


The Long Walk

by Sylwynn_Rutherford



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Angst, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Romance, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2018-10-29 03:26:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 27,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10845513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sylwynn_Rutherford/pseuds/Sylwynn_Rutherford
Summary: Shaari was happy with her clan, learning magic from Keeper Marethari Mahariel and just trying to find her place with her People.  While out foraging, something which she was forbidden to do, given she was a mage and too young to be away from the clan, she was found by the shemlen Templars and taken far from her home. The new word to which she was cast was both frightening and wonderful. If only such peace was meant to last...





	1. Chapter 1

_“Keesa, wait!” the young girl called, chasing her older sister through the woods._

_“Go home, Ree Ree! You’re_ not _supposed to be out here!” Keesa replied, glancing back angrily at her sister._

_“But I want to_ help _you! I can pick berries too!” Shaari retorted._

_“Your a_ mage _, Shaari, not a hunter! Go back and play with your magic where it’s_ safe _!”_

_“Please, Keesa... I just want to spend some time with you. You’re always gone with Tamlen on some hunting trip. I’m always stuck in Keeper Marethari’s aravel. I just want to get away for a while.” Shaari replied, stopping before her sister to look at her feet._

_“Ree Ree, it’s dangerous for you to be out here. The shem village isn’t that far, and our hunters are_ always _spotting signs of their passing. Mammae would tan my hide if anything happened to you.” Keesa said, moving to cup her baby sister’s head in her hand._

_Shaari looked up at her older sister, tears glistening in her bright teal eyes. Locks of white hair escaped her braids, some of which had collected a leaf or a twig in her attempt to keep up with Keesa’s longer legs. Her lips were a soft red, and presently curved in a little pout. Trying to blink her eyes dry, Shaari knew her sister was right. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she slowly nodded her head._

_“I’ll go back, Keesa.” she said softly._

_“Tamlen isn’t far, just look for him. I’m sure he’ll see you safely back to camp.” Keesa replied, gently picking a leaf from her sister’s shimmering hair._

_“I don’t like Tamlen. Why can’t you take me?”_

_“Tamlen is your intended bond, Shaari. He won’t let anything happen to you. I can’t go back with you without at least gathering a satchel full of elfroot and berries, possibly a hare and some quail for our fire. You understand how important that is, yes?”_

_Nodding her head, Shaari looked up at her sister as she was pulled into her arms. Burying her face in Keesa’s bright red locks, she sighed and knew she needed to do as she was told. Stepping back, she saw the brilliant smile lighting her sister’s bright emerald eyes._

_“That’s a good da’len. If I can find some, I’ll bring you back some of those sweet dragonberries that you like so much. Now, scoot! Mammae is probably tearing the camp apart looking for you.” Keesa smiled._

_Returning the gesture, Shaari watched Keesa disappear into the trees. She was older by almost ten years, and had already taken her vallaslin, that of Andruil. Shaari wanted hers too, as she wanted to feel as important to the clan as Keesa was. There was already another mage in camp, and if she didn’t figure out some way to make herself useful, she would likely be taken to live with another clan who_ needed _a mage. She really didn’t want to leave, but having too many mages in one clan was dangerous, as Keeper Marethari had told her. Monsters lurked behind closed eyes, just waiting for the da’len to slip up so that they could take over their body. The images she’d called up were terrifying, and she’d vowed then to never let that happen to her._

_Retracing her steps through the brush, she spotted a small bush loaded with berries. Stopping a moment to pick some of the freshest, she felt her heart hammering in her chest as she heard the heavy armored footsteps of one of the shem Templars. Remaining as quiet as she possibly could, she listened as they grew closer. The voices she heard seemed harsh and unfeeling, as though they were little more than empty shells. Flinching as one of the men nearly stepped on her, she squeaked as he turned to look down. Gaining her feet, Shaari raced away from the men as fast as she could, leading them away from her camp as she’d been taught._

_“There! That’s the apostate child! Grab her!” the man said, calling out to one of his companions._

_Hearing the burly man stomping after her, Shaari tried desperately to outrun him. She was Dalish, and used to navigating this kind of terrain with nothing on her feet while these shem were large, and unfamiliar with the territory as she was. Glancing back as she heard the heavy steps fading, she ran bodily into the dense silverite armor of the Templar she didn’t know was there. Scooting back from him as she’d toppled to the ground, she could do little more than stare up at the terrifying helm that hid the visage of the man who was to be her captor._

_Trying to turn so she could gain her feet once again, she felt his unyielding armored forearm wrap around her tiny waist, hoisting her off the ground. Crying out as he held her, she was both terrified and relieved that he’d set her on her feet before him. Watching as the Templar pulled off his helm, she finally got her first look at the man behind the metal._

_He wasn’t as old as she was expecting, perhaps only in his late thirties. His dark hair was parted neatly in the middle and framed his masculine features. His eyes looked worn, as though they’d seen more years than they actually had. They softened as they fell on her though, the deep blue catching the early morning light and glimmering brightly. His face bore stubble, something she’d never seen before. She was curious about this shem, though terrified at the same time. Watching as he squatted down before her, she swallowed the fearful lump in her throat._

_“Do not be frightened, child.” the man began. “What is your name?”_

_Shaking her head, she wanted to pretend she didn’t understand him. The small smile he gave her was gentle, wanting to reassure her that he wasn’t going to hurt her. He knew she spoke common, as the Dalish had little of their ancient language still in use. Flinching as he reached out an armored hand, she tried to control her trembling as he tucked a stray lock of hair behind her pointed ear._

_“I’m not going to hurt you, child. I want to protect you, keep you safe.” he said gently._

_“Then let me go back to my clan. I promise I won’t cause any problems for you shem in your village. I just want to be back with my family.” she pleaded._

_“You’re a mage, child. You need to be somewhere safe where my people won’t harm you. If anyone from that village saw you, you’d be in terrible danger.”_

_“My clan can keep me safe. Please... I want to go home.” she sniffled, tears creeping their way into her eyes._

_“Knight Captain Greagoir! The apostate gave us the slip.” one of the men said, bursting through the brush to where she and the shem were._

_Jumping aside in surprise, Shaari quickly realized that she’d moved toward the first Templar, the one the other man had called Greagoir. Moving as quickly away from him as she could, she blinked in surprise as he put himself between her and his companion, holding onto her arm with a with a firm yet gentle gloved hand. Glancing around the woods behind her, she could see some of the faces of her clan staring back at her. She knew she couldn’t call out to them, as she’d been taught never to reveal her clan’s location whenever the shem were nearby. Spotting her sister’s tear filled emerald eyes, she softly whispered her name._

_“Keesa...”_

_Looking back quickly as she heard the first man’s voice scolding the newcomer, she swallowed her fear as best she was able._

_“Damn it, man, be still!” Greagoir said, glaring up at the other Templar. “Can’t you see the poor girl is scared enough already?”_

_“Sorry, Knight Captain.” the man replied, stepping away from them._

_Watching as the man named Greagoir turned his attention back to her, she knew he wouldn’t let her return to her people. Her destiny now lay along a_ different _path..._

********************************************************************************************************

“You need to _concentrate! Focus_ on the spell rather than letting it consume you.” the man before her said, snapping her out of her thoughts.

“I’m sorry, Niall.” she replied, pushing the memory down where it lay hidden in her mind.

“Again. This time, I want you to try and wrap the fire around your staff, not the table.” the man continued, his voice gentle.

Nodding her head, Shaari did as he asked, coating her staff in a sheath of searing flames. The smile of approval he gave her was comforting, as she had struggled with that particular spell for some time now. It was the last she had to master, and after several more attempts, she’d finally done so. From here on out, she would be preparing for her Harrowing. Niall was a patient teacher, giving her the proper guidance and encouragement she needed to become proficient with her magic. She wondered if her Keeper would have done things differently, as Dalish magic was more practical. Blinking as she realized she had let her thoughts creep over her again, she straightened up for one last attempt at the spell.

Joining the rest of the apprentices in the hall for supper that night, she spoke easily with those she’d become friends with. There were several other elves in her group, though they’d all come from alienages. She was the only Dalish in the Ferelden Circle, and it had initially caused some tension with those from shem villages and cities. It had bothered her then, but now, she was friends with most of the young mages in her age group. Spotting Niall as he entered the hall, she got to her feet as he waved her over. She found herself curious as to what he needed, as she’d only left him an hour ago. Smiling as she joined him in the hallway just outside the dining hall, she felt puzzled at the look he gave her.

“Is everything alright, Niall?” she asked curiously.

“It is. You’re to accompany Knight Templar Cullen here to the Harrowing chamber, Shaari. It’s time you took your place among the mages here, exchanging your apprentice robes for those of a proper Circle mage.” he replied, beaming proudly.

Her heart raced in her chest as she cast a glance back at her friends in the dining hall. It was time... She would now see if all she’d learned since coming to the Circle at the age of nine would spare her from the fate that befell a mage not strong enough to pass the Harrowing. Nodding as she met Niall's eyes, she turned and followed Cullen through the Tower to the chamber at its peak.

“Good luck, Shaari... um, apprentice.” Cullen said shyly as he opened the door for them.

“Thank you, Cullen.” she replied, returning the smile he gave her.

There was something between them, something forbidden by the rules of the Chantry, but she didn’t care. She was falling in love with Cullen, and knew her feelings were returned. She was one of his charges though, and to do anything beyond acknowledgement of their affection could have dire consequences. He would be expelled from the order while she was made Tranquil, if they didn’t just execute her outright. Cullen had only been in the Tower for the last two years himself, but in that time, they’d grown quite close. Often, she found herself wishing for a life with him, away from the confines of the Chantry prison.

Time hadn’t been kind to Greagoir either. In the ten years that had passed since he’d first found her in the woods, Knight Commander Greagoir, as he was now called, had become hard and jaded. She wasn’t sure why, as he’d always been so friendly before. It had only been in the last year or so that his personality had shifted, making him distrustful of mages all together. It had had a physical effect on him as well. The dark black hair that he’d kept so neat was now laced with silver, and slightly unkempt. His eyes, once soft and gentle, were now hard and cold. His entire demeanor had changed, and she wondered what had brought it about. She’d seen some of the older apprentices become Tranquil, while others had vanished entirely. She wondered what happened to those who failed their Harrowing, as she’d never seen so much as a hint as to their whereabouts. She wondered what would happen to _her_ if she failed...

“Magic is exists to _serve_ man, and _never_ to rule over him.” Greagoir began. “Thus spoke the prophet Andraste as she cast down the Tevinter Imperium, ruled by mages who had brought the world to the edge of ruin. Your magic is a gift, but it is also a curse, for demons of the dream realm, the Fade, are drawn to you, and seek to use you as a gateway into this world.” he finished.

“This is why the Harrowing exists. The ritual sends you into the Fade, and there you will face a demon, armed with only your will.” First Enchanter Irving added.

“Is there no other option? Shaari asked, suddenly unsure of the test she was about to undergo.

She was confident in her own ability, though not as much so in the patience of the man Greagoir had become.

“There is Tranquility...” Greagoir stated harshly.

“Is losing all your magic an option? No. I have faith that you will succeed.” Irving said, looking from her to Greagoir.

“Know this, apprentice: if you fail, we Templars will perform our duty. You _will_ die.” Greagoir stated firmly. “This is lyrium: the very essence of magic and your gateway into the Fade.”

“The Harrowing is a secret out of necessity, child. Every mage must go through this trial by fire. As we succeeded, so shall you.” Irving encouraged. “Keep your wits about you and remember, the Fade is a realm of dreams. The spirits may rule it, but your _own_ will is real.”

“The apprentice must go through this test _alone_ , First Enchanter.” Greagoir growled. “You _are_ ready.”

Approaching the pedestal containing a draught of lyrium, Shaari placed her hands on either side. Feeling the raw power wafting over her, she closed her eyes, not wanting it to completely claim her. Glancing briefly over at Cullen, she saw the worried expression in his eyes he tried to hide. Offering him a small smile, she let her spirit slip easily into the Fade.


	2. Chapter 2

The world of the Fade looked very different than the world from which she’d come from. Still, Shaari was determined to pass this test, no matter how hard it became. Making her way slowly along the path before her, she wished she at least had a staff to defend herself with, should the need arise. She had her magic though, and the instructions she’d learned over the years, both from her Keeper as a young Dalish mage and her mentor Niall upon coming to the Circle at age nine. Closing her eyes, she felt their presence rise within her and knew that she wasn’t truly alone.

Walking determinedly along the rocky path, she spotted a mouse that seemed rather out of place. Taking a moment to look closer at it, she stepped back as it spoke to her. Hearing him tell her that he was once a mage that had failed his Harrowing made her suspicious. Tucking a stray lock of shimmering white hair behind her ear, she squatted down so that she might speak with it.

“What happens to a mage who fails their Harrowing?” she asked.

“You saw the Templars that filled the chamber? They’re there to cut you down if you take too long or show any sign of weakness. It’s typically done by the Templar who is assigned to be your guardian. The one holding your leash, basically.” Mouse replied.

Swallowing slightly, she knew that would be Cullen, in her case. She was one of his charges, thus making him responsible for her. It was likely the reason he’d escorted her to the Harrowing chamber. Standing herself straight as she rose up, she steeled her resolve. She wouldn’t be another mage to fall to a Templar blade, no matter how attracted she was to the man. It made her wonder though. Given their mutual feelings toward one another, would he be _able_ to bring down his blade on her? Not that it mattered, as if he didn’t, Greagoir _would_.

“I’ll be one less stain on the floor for them, I assure you. I _will_ conquer this test and return to them as hale as they sent me, if not better.” she stated.

“I was once as confident as you, but it wasn’t enough to face the demon.”

“Demon?”

“They sent you here to face a demon, apprentice. If you can’t keep the demon at bay, you will be cut down where you stand.”

Images flashed through her mind; she was sitting in her Keeper’s aravel watching the flames dance, shifting into the many forms demons took, hearing Marethari’s voice as she whispered the words to keep the monsters at bay. She knew there was a way to beat them, ways to keep them from taking over her body. Smiling to herself, she knew she would be employing those tactics to keep the demon from claiming her as its own.

Glancing down at Mouse as he started following her, she wondered what he’d been like as a mage. Speaking only lightly with him, she knew she couldn’t let him distract her from her purpose for being here. Making her way up a small hill, she soon found herself face to face with an imposing looking spirit. He towered over her at nearly seven feet, and he wore the traditional armor of a seasoned Templar. Behind him, a rack of staves shimmered in the strange light of the Fade. Meeting his eyes, she wondered what she would need to do to acquire one of the weapons he guarded.

“I am Valor, mortal. Like I have done with so many before you, I am here to test your wit and strength, to prepare you for the fight against the demon that hunts you.” he said.

“What must I do to get one of the staves behind you so that I’m armed in this fight?”

“You must battle against me. If I feel you are worthy, I shall stop the fight and award you with your choice of weapon. If you fail, I will spare the Templars the duty of cutting you down.”

“It’s a waste of time, apprentice. He just wants to kill you and claim victory over another hapless soul that’s been tossed to the wolves.” Mouse growled.

“I feel confident in my abilities, I agree to the terms of your proposition.” Shaari said, standing up to her full height of five foot three.

Seeing the blade Valor drew, she wondered if she’d made a mistake. Rolling beneath his swing, she managed to hit him with a pure blast of ice before following it with a jet of flame. Trying to keep out of his reach, Shaari punched him in the side, just under the heavy plate he wore. It seemed to be a soft spot for him, and she wondered if she wouldn’t be able to use that weakness to her advantage. The massive gauntlet that collided with her head was enough of a reminder to pay attention to everything that was happening, and she quickly rolled back to her feet as he turned to face her. Calling up a lightning spell, she covered the ground in a thin sheet, hoping to slow him down at least a little.

The fight seemed to take longer than it actually did, so she was surprised when he called a halt to their match. Lowering her hands slowly, she was hesitant to drop her defenses entirely, lest it be a trap he was planning for her. Seeing him sheath his sword, she felt her apprehension slip away entirely.

“You have done well, apprentice. Your reward is waiting for you to claim it. Be well on your journey, and always remember to fight your battles with valor.” he said, disappearing into the mist of the Fade.

“Well that was something. I didn’t expect you to actually _win_.” Mouse said, taking the form of a human as he came to stand before her.

“Not all battles need to result in death. Sometimes, you just have to show your willingness to go the distance.” she replied, taking one of the staves from the rack.

“As I’m coming to see. It’s no wonder you were sent here as young as you are, you’re gifted beyond many young apprentices your age.” Mouse smiled. “Perhaps, you might be able to help me...”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve been stranded here for as long as I can remember. If you were willing, perhaps my spirit might once again be freed of this place. You would just have to bring me across when you return.”

“I’m starting to think the battle against the spirit of Valor wasn’t the true test I was sent here to face...” she said, taking a step away from the man.

“What do you mean?”

“I was sent here to fight a demon, not a benevolent spirit willing to help me. Aside from Valor, _you’re_ the only entity here I’ve encountered.”

“Clever girl...” Mouse smirked, letting the facade fall away.

Stepping further away from him, she watched as he shifted from the human form he’d worn, to that of a rather large, intimidating rage demon. Gripping her staff a little tighter, she coated it in a sheath of ice in preparation for the fight she knew was coming. Coating herself with a spell shield, she thought back to what her Keeper had taught her as a young da’len.

_“Rage seeks to breed more of its kind. To defeat rage, one must be compassionate, and armed with ice.”_

Creating a snow storm around herself, Shaari slowly moved towards the demon. It roared out at the frigid storm swirling over it, but was more cowed by the softness in her tone as she spoke at it.

“You are filled with anger and hatred, hoping to use that as a way to take over my body and turn me into an abomination. You can’t understand the level of compassion we mortals have for one another. Yes. Taking you from the Fade would earn my death at the hands of the Templars, but I doubt you could survive in a world where people are concerned, genuinely interested in helping those they are able to. A kind word, a gentle hand on the shoulder, a hug... These are all foreign to you, yet familiar gestures to me. They are tokens of affection that those of us in the mortal realm share with one another, and there are plenty more where I come from. Being Dalish, I learned at the fire of my Keeper that not every battle is won by test of weaponry or magic. Often, a simple kind word spoken at just the right time, or the desire for peace can avert any conflict long before battle lines are drawn. Is that something you feel confident you’d be able to survive, ‘Mouse’?” she asked, blanketing the demon in a layer of snow.

Watching the demon dissipate, Shaari knew she’d passed her test. Closing her eyes and drawing in a sustaining breath, she called her mind back to her physical form outside of the Fade. Smiling to herself, she blinked several times to gain her bearings in the dimly lit chamber. Seeing Cullen standing over her, she saw the concern etched in his handsome features. Her heart beat loudly in her ears, and it was all she could do to keep from kissing him then and there. Feeling the sudden exhaustion from her trip into the Fade wash over her, she sighed wearily and let sleep claim her.

“Ree?” the mage spoke softly. “Shaari?”

Letting her eyes flutter open, Shaari shielded them from the brilliance of the apprentice barracks. Turning her head slowly, she smiled as she saw the face of the man who spoke to her. He was tall, standing nearly six and a half feet, and his golden hair was pulled back into a messy half pony tail. His gentle brown eyes met her teal ones, the concern washing away as soon as she smiled at him. Scooting over as she sat up so that he could claim a seat beside her, she stretched her arms over her head.

“I heard the First Enchanter talking about you, Ree.”

“What was he saying, Anders?”

“He couldn’t believe how fast you completed the Harrowing. I think you set a new record.” he grinned.

“I just did what I had to do. I trusted my Keeper’s knowledge about demons and put it to use.”

“Oh, the advantages of starting life as a Dalish. I’m a little envious, actually.”

“Of me? Why?”

“It wasn’t your _father_ that called the Templars because he was scared as hell of you. I would have _much_ rather learned magic from a Dalish Keeper than the Enchanters here. Ugh, I need to get _away_ from this place...”

“You know what they’ll do if they catch you again...”

“Then I’ll just make sure they _don’t_ catch me. Any suggestions?” he smirked playfully.

“Find a clan and hide with them? Get out of Ferelden?”

“I’d have to destroy my phylactery first, and that requires getting into the vault in the basement.”

“Which of course, isn’t going to happen unless we trap a Templar.”

“What about Cullen? I’ve heard him speaking to some of the other Templars about his feelings for you, think we can use that to our advantage?”

“I couldn’t do that to him and you know it, Anders. He’s a wonderful man, and my feelings for _him_...”

“I know, Ree. I was just trying to find a solution to the age old problem of mage imprisonment...”

“If I hear of anything, I’ll be certain to let you know though.”

“Thanks Ree, I really appreciate it. Now, I’m going to scoot. I know the First Enchanter will be calling for you soon, and that means Cullen will come. I wouldn’t want to disturb you two when this will likely be your last moment of privacy with the man.” Anders smirked, rising from the bed.

Blushing at the implication, she squeaked visibly as she saw Cullen appear suddenly inside the door. Beaming brightly as he slowly entered, she noticed how he looked around before moving closer to her.

“I, uh...” he began, rubbing the back of his neck with an armored hand.

Moving slowly towards him, Shaari offered him a brilliant smile.

“Yes, Cullen?” she asked softly.

“I’m supposed to, uh...”

“You’re supposed to... _what_?” she said softly, stepping closer.

There was barely a breath between them. Shaari’s heart was pounding in her chest, but this was what she wanted. Mages and Templars weren’t allowed to be together, though that hardly stopped it from happening. 

“I, uh... I’m glad to see your Harrowing went smoothly...” he began. “They, uh... picked me as the Templar to strike the killing blow if... if you, uh... became an abomination... It’s nothing personal, I swear! I, uh... I’m just glad you’re alright, you know?” he finished nervously.

“Would you really have struck me down?” she asked softly, meeting his amber eyes.

“I would have felt terrible about it... But, um... But I serve the Chantry and the Maker, and I will do as I am commanded...” he replied, staring down into her teal eyes, transfixed.

“Maybe we could go elsewhere and... continue our discussion?” she whispered, closing the gap between them.

“Else _where_? What do you mean?”

“I’ve seen the way you look at me... We should... get to know each other better.”

Lacing her arm around his neck, Shaari leaned up to kiss him. Feeling his arms wrap around her and pull her tight against his armor, she knew that he wanted to know her as badly as she did him. The passion burned hot between them as they stood there. Time came to a halt as she felt the need that washed over her, knowing it was the same for him. Meeting his eyes as he pulled slowly away, she saw the bright blush flood his cheeks.

“Oh my goodness...” he breathed, trying to calm the fire in his blood. “If you’re saying... what I _think_... that would be really... inappropriate and... I couldn’t...” he finished, stammering.

“You can, if you want to...” she whispered, capturing his lips for another heated kiss.

“I want to... but... _where_?” he moaned as she pulled slightly back.

“I was hoping you might have a suggestion...” she smiled.

“The supply closet on the third floor is usually unlocked, and and no one really watches it. We could meet there after lunch while everyone else is at their lessons...” he whispered.

“I look forward to it...”

“There’s something I should, um... I’ve never done anything like this... that is, I, uh...”

“I haven’t either, Cullen. We’ll figure it out together.” she whispered, capturing his lips again.

Hearing Jowan out in the hall, she stepped quickly back from him and placed her hand over her lips. Watching as he straightened himself up, she saw the shyness in his eyes as he looked down at her.

“I should... I should go.” he said softly.

“Weren’t you supposed to be escorting me to see the First Enchanter?” she smiled.

“Oh! I, uh... yes.”

“Lead on then, good Ser.”

Stepping out into the hall, she nearly collided with Jowan. He seemed nervous, and the look he cast to Cullen before letting his eyes fall to hers only furthered her suspicion. Cullen, in turn, looked down on the man as though he was repulsed by his very presence. Turning her attention from her would-be lover to her friend, she arched a brow curiously.

“Ree, I was wondering if I might have a word with you once you’re, uh... Finished speaking with the First Enchanter.” Jowan said, looking from her back to Cullen.

“Is everything alright?” she asked.

“What? Yes! I, uh... Just meet me in the Chantry when you’re... free to _talk_.” Jowan finished, looking nervously from her back to Cullen.

The scowl the Templar gave the man was a stark reminder that he didn’t trust _all_ mages, though he seemed to be completely at ease with her. Watching her friend rush off, she looked back up at Cullen as he once again continued their course.

“Is everything alright?” she asked.

“You should be careful, Shaari. Jowan... Just... be careful. He can’t be trusted.”

“What do you mean?”

“Please don’t ask me this, I’m not at liberty to tell you just now. You’ll see soon enough, I’m afraid.”

“Is Jowan to become Tranquil?” she asked, meeting his eyes as he stopped to face her.

“How did you... Where did you hear that?”

“From Jowan last night. He said there were rumors about him being a blood mage, and that he was afraid he’d be made Tranquil over them. He denies the allegation, of course, but he’s still afraid.”

Moving with Cullen into one of the smaller alcoves, she watched as he looked around to make sure they wouldn’t be overheard.

“Jowan was spotted reading the books on blood magic in the library before Irving removed them. Greagoir mentioned that he’d seen him off in a corner whispering to himself, and that there were small scars on his hands and arms. Since the danger of him becoming an abomination is incredibly high, Irving and Greagoir have decided that, for the safety of the Tower, Jowan was to be made Tranquil. You can’t breathe a _word_ of this to anyone, Shaari. If it got out that you knew what I do... I don’t want to _think_ of what they’d do to you. Promise me...” Cullen whispered, meeting her eyes in desperation.

“Jowan is my friend, Cullen. How can I...”

“Would you rather see him struck down as an abomination? As terrible as it is, we _must_ think of the safety of the Tower, and everyone else here. Promise me, Shaari...”

“I promise, Cullen.”

The relief in his eyes was palpable. Surrendering to the kiss he placed on her lips, she moaned softly in contentment. Gasping for breath as he slowly pulled away, she returned the warm smile he gave her. Stepping out of the alcove, she walked beside him as he resumed their journey to the First Enchanter’s office. Spotting the pile of books that covered blood magic on Irving’s desk, she knew in her heart that Cullen was right. Jowan was practicing blood magic. Tranquility was a better alternative than death, which was the fate that befell all maleficar. Clearing her throat, she turned her attention to the conversation Irving and Greagoir were having with a man she’d never seen before.

“Many have already gone to Ostagar; Wynne, Uldred, and most of the senior mages!” Greagoir complained. “We’ve committed _enough_ of our own to this war effort!”

“Your own? Since when have _you_ felt such kinship with the mages, Greagoir?” Irving asked, folding his arms across his chest. “Or are you afraid to let the mages out from under Chantry supervision, where they can actually use their Maker-given powers?”

“How _dare_ you suggest...”

“Gentlemen, please...” the third man interrupted. “Irving, someone is here to see you.”

“You sent for me, First Enchanter?” Shaari asked, meeting the eyes of the men in turn.

“Ah! If it isn’t our new sister in the Circle!” Irving beamed. “Come, child.”

“This is...?” the third man asked, stepping closer to the elder mage.

“Yes, this is she.” Irving beamed proudly.

“Well, Irving. You’re obviously busy. We will discuss this later.” Greagoir said, stepping hastily from the room.

“Of course. Well, then... Where was I? Oh, yes. This is Duncan, of the Grey Wardens.” Irving continued, ignoring the tone of Greagoir’s voice.

“Pleased to meet you, Duncan.” Shaari replied, smiling warmly.

“You’ve heard about the war brewing to the south, I expect? Duncan is recruiting mages to join the King’s army at Ostagar.”

“Who are we fighting?” Shaari asked, looking from her mentor to the other man.

“The darkspawn threat grows in the south. We need all the help we can get.” Duncan answered.

“What are darkspawn?” she asked curiously.

“They are twisted monsters that dwell underground, where the sun’s light cannot touch them. They have formed into a horde in the Korcari wilds and threaten to invade north into the valley. I fear if we don’t drive them back, we may see another Blight.” Duncan replied.

“Duncan, you worry the poor girl with your talk of Blights and darkspawn. This is a _happy_ day for her.” Irving said, looking firmly at the man. 

“We live in troubled times, my friend.” Duncan stated, his eyes full of sadness.

“We should seize moments of levity, _especially_ in troubled times.” Irving continued, turning his attention back to her. “The Harrowing is behind you. Your phylactery was sent to Denerim. You are _officially_ a mage within the Circle of Magi.” he finished, beaming proudly.

“My phylactery?” Shaari asked, furrowing her brow.

“You many not remember, but blood was taken from you when you first came to us. This blood is preserved within a phylactery.” Irving replied.

The memory came fresh to mind, and she gritted her teeth out of anger. She’d been a proud member of her clan before being taken by Greagoir, and she’d been a prisoner in the Tower ever since. Looking to Duncan as he spoke, she couldn’t help but smirk at the comment he shared with Irving.

“So they can be hunted if they turn apostate.”

“We have few choices. The gift of magic is looked upon with suspicion and fear. We _must_ prove we are strong enough to handle our power responsibly.” Irving retorted. “You have done this. I present you with your robes, your staff, and a ring bearing the Circle’s insignia. Wear them proudly, for you have earned them.” Irving finished, beaming happily at her as he retrieved the items and handed them carefully over.

“What happens now?” she asked, taking the items.”

“Patience, child. You have been through an ordeal. Let us not rush things.” Irving chuckled. “It goes without saying that you shall not discuss the Harrowing with those who have not undergone the rite. Now then. Take your time to rest, or study in the library. The day is yours.”

Letting her mind wander over all the possibilities open to her, she found her thoughts shifting to Cullen, and the meeting they’d planned for just a few short hours from then. She drew in a deep breath as she remembered the kiss they’d shared, and had to struggle to maintain her composure until she was free of the older men. Smiling to herself, she hoped the First Enchanter would grant her one request before she would be sequestered away for the rest of her life.

“Can I leave the Tower? I’d love to take in some fresh air for a change.” Shaari asked hopefully.

“Not yet. Remember, the Tower’s walls protect _us_ as much as they protect others _from_ us.” Irving answered sadly.

“I will return to my quarters, Irving.” Duncan said, meeting the man’s eyes.

“Would you be so kind as to escort Duncan back to his room, child?” Irving asked.

“It would be my pleasure, First Enchanter.” she smiled, turning her attention to the Grey Warden.

“The guest quarters are on the east side of this floor, close to the library. Now, if you’ll both excuse me, I have matters to discuss with Greagoir.” Irving said, stepping around them.

Smiling at Duncan, she made for the door and started off down the hall. Taking what little time she had to speak with the man, listened as he spoke of all that was going on. She asked him about the darkspawn, and the potential Blight that threatened the land. The more he spoke, the more she wanted to leave the Tower to try and help. His voice was calming, despite the years and battles he’d seen, and she wished there was more time to question him.

“I imagine you don’t leave very often, do you.” he said gently.

“I haven’t left the Tower since I arrived here as a child. I miss the smell of the woods, and the cool water that washed over my feet as I played with the other children my age. Being Dalish... I’ve never felt so claustrophobic in all my life...” she replied, the sadness evident in her tone. “Apprentices aren’t allowed outside these walls.”

“I am not a good source of news, I fear. I am preoccupied with the darkspawn incursion.” he continued. 

“How many mages have joined the King’s army?”

“When the King sent out the call, the Circle of Ferelden sent only _seven_ mages to Ostagar. I asked King Cailan’s permission to come and seek a greater commitment from the Circle.”

“How many mages do you need?”

“I hope to place a mage or two within every contingent. I _cannot_ do with just seven. Mages will make all the difference in this battle. The darkspawn have their own magic, and our resources _must_ exceed theirs.”

“Do you think I could join the army?”

“I don’t know. Do you?”

“I doubt I would be allowed to go.” she replied sadly.

“I sometimes wonder if the Chantry’s many laws regarding magic are necessary. Darkspawn are a greater threat than blood mages, even abominations. It takes _decades_ for the world to recover from a Blight. I wish the Chantry could _see_ that. We must stop at _nothing_ to stop the darkspawn. Ah, listen to me. An old man’s rantings can’t be very interesting.”

“I learned much from what you said.” she smiled.

“You are too kind.” Duncan chuckled. 

“Have you ever seen someone use blood magic?” she asked.

“Once, in my youth, just after I had joined the Grey Wardens. I was traveling with my mentor. We encountered a group of Templars hunting a blood mage. They were quite far away, so I cannot be sure of what I saw. He forced some of the Templars to turn on their fellows. It was dreadful to behold. He would have escaped had he not overlooked one Templar, who snuck up behind him and cleaved his head in two.”

“Blood magic is evil...” she sighed.

“There have been mages within the Grey Wardens who have needed to resort to blood magic to deal with the darkspawn. It is something to consider, certainly.”

“Can you tell me more about the Grey Wardens and darkspawn?” she asked, not wanting to think of what would happen to Jowan.

“Certainly. I am intimately familiar with these subjects, after all.” Duncan smirked..

Speaking with him about the darkspawn and his thoughts on the Blight, she wondered why it was the Circle had only sent seven mages to help the King. It was he, after all, that had made the request. Smiling warmly at him, she changed the subject as they continued on to their destination. Bidding him farewell at the door, she started off down the hall, nearly colliding with Jowan once again as she did so. Remembering what Cullen had whispered to her in secret, she tried her best to give the man a warm smile.

“I’m glad I caught up to you. Are you done talking to Irving?” Jowan asked.

“I think so, for now anyway..” she replied, looking back at Duncan.

“I need to talk to you.”

“Why are you whispering? It looks very suspicious, Jowan.”

“Shhh! I just want to make sure we’re not overheard!” Jowan answered, looking nervously around. “We should go somewhere else. I don’t feel safe talking here.”

“You’re starting to worry me, Jowan.”

“I’ve been troubled... I’ll explain. Come with me, please?”

Furrowing her brow, Shaari followed Jowan to the Chantry. She didn’t like the way he was behaving, which only served to confirm what Cullen had told her. He was hiding something big, and she knew in her heart what it was.

“We should be safe here.” Jowan whispered, moving to stand beside a young initiate.

“In the chapel? The Templar’s favorite haunt?” Shaari asked.

“We can see the door from here. If anyone comes, we’ll change the subject.” the initiate replied quickly.

“I’ve seen you before, haven’t I.” Shaari said, folding her arms across her chest.

“I often attend to my duties in this chapel. Perhaps that is why I seem familiar.” the woman offered.

A few months ago, I told you that I... met a girl. This is Lily.” Jowan smiled.

“An initiate? Jowan... That’s forbidden...”

“So you can see why we wish to keep it a secret.” Lily smiled.

“Lily’s been given to the Chantry. She’s not allowed to have... _relations_ with men. If anyone finds out... We’ll _both_ be in trouble...” Jowan added.

“Did you bring me here just to talk about your affair?” Shaari asked, looking from one to the other.

“I _wish_ that was the only thing I needed to talk about.” Jowan said softly. “Remember a few days ago when I said I didn’t think they wanted to give me my Harrowing? I know why... They’re... they’re going to make me _Tranquil_. They’ll take everything that I am from me! My dreams, hopes, fears... my love for Lily... All gone...” he wept.

“That sounds terrible!” Shaari replied, meeting his eyes sadly.

“They’ll extinguish my humanity. I’ll just be a husk... Breathing and existing, but not truly _living_.”

“Why would they do this to you, Jowan? There must be a reason...” Shaari asked.

“There’s a... _rumor_ about me... People think I’m a blood mage...” he replied. “They think that making me a Circle made will endanger everyone.”

“And are they right about that?”

“Of _course_ not! But it’s not safe here for me anymore!” Jowan retorted. “I need to escape, I need to destroy my phylactery. Without it, they can’t track me down. We need your help. Lily and I can’t do it on our own.”

“Give us your word that you will help and we will tell you what we intend.” Lily whispered.

“This is incredibly risky, Jowan. What incentive do I have to risk everything I’ve worked hard to achieve?” Shaari asked, knowing that she too could be made Tranquil for helping a blood mage escape.

“The joy of helping a friend? The satisfaction of knowing you prevented a gross injustice?” Jowan answered, smiling hopefully.

“The repository holds more than phylacteries. Join us, and the artifacts will be yours for the taking.” Lily added.

“Aren’t you sick and tired of the Circle running your life? You could get out of here with us.” Jowan added.

“My phylactery was taken to Denerim. I’m still trapped here, no matter what I do.” Shaari replied, her thoughts going to Cullen and the life she wished she could have with him.

“You’ll be out of here and gone before they can even dispatch a messenger to the city. You’re talented and clever. You could take your phylactery back from your hunters, if you wish. You have so much power... Once you’re free... they wouldn’t be able to stop you. If you care about what happens to me, please... help us.” Jowan pleaded.

“Then I give you my word.” Shaari said softly.

“Thank you! We will _never_ forget this.” Lily said happily.

“So what do you intend to do?”

“I can get us into the repository, but there _is_ a problem.” Lily began. “There are two locks on the phylactery chamber door. The First Enchanter and Knight Commander each hold one key. But it is just a door. There is power enough in this place to destroy all of Ferelden. What’s a door to mages?”

“The door likely has some powerful enchantments on it...” Shaari offered, knowing that she honestly couldn’t let Jowan pull off an escape. 

The thought of him being made Tranquil was unpleasant, to say the least. Knowing the rumors were true however... It was an easy decision to make. She’d promise to help them before letting the First Enchanter know of Jowan’s plan to escape.

“We have no choice. We _cannot_ get our hands on both keys.” Jowan stated. “I once saw a rod of fire melt through a lock... You could get one from the stockroom. Owain doesn’t release such things to apprentices.”

“I’ll get it from him then.” Shaari smiled.

“We should stay here. One mage at the stockroom will attract less attention than a mage, an apprentice and an initiate.” Lily whispered.

“Good idea.” Shaari agreed.

“Good luck. Our prayers go with you.” Lily offered.

Giving them her best smile, Shaari left the Chantry and started off down the hall. It was breaking her heart to know that one of her oldest friends was going to be made Tranquil, but the thought of him being a blood mage helped to ease her guilt over what she was about to do. Walking the halls until she reached the First Enchanter’s office, she swallowed her discomfort and approached him slowly.

“I trust you saw Duncan back to his quarters?” Irving asked, smiling brightly at her as she entered.

“Of course.”

“I’m glad you met him. He’s a most honorable man.”

“I agree. It was my privilege to have met him.” she smiled.

“Grey Wardens are peerless warriors who sacrifice all for our sakes. We can learn much from them. Now, did you need something?”

“When is Jowan going through the Harrowing?” she asked, already knowing the answer, but wanting to hear Irving tell her the truth himself.

“When he’s ready. Why do you ask?”

“Jowan fears he’s going to be made Tranquil...”

“And how does he know this? I suppose the young initiate he dallies about with revealed it to him.” Irving replied, his voice firm. “You think I didn’t know? I didn’t get to be First Enchanter by keeping my eyes and ears shut.” he smirked.

“Yes, Lily told him. Why though? I know it’s not my place to ask, but he’s my friend...”

“Greagoir says he has proof - and eye witness testimony - that Jowan has been practicing blood magic. I _cannot_ say more.” Irving replied. “Were it left to me, things might be different. But the Chantry... I’m sorry, child. This Rite of Tranquility _will_ happen.”

“You must know though that they’re planning on escaping the Circle together, to avoid his becoming Tranquil.”

“Oh? Interesting. What more do you know?” Irving asked, his curiosity truly piqued. “I know he is your friend, but your loyalty to the Circle will be rewarded...”


	3. Chapter 3

“Lily...”

“Yes... She must be helping him. She would know more about the repository than he would. Do you know anything else?”

“Yes, Lily told me, and I promised to help.”

“I suspected Lily would tell him of the impending Rite if she found out. I never expected they would have the gall to break into the repository.”

“What will you do with Jowan?”

“Reporting him to Greagoir and the Templars will accomplish nothing beyond what’s already planned. If the Circle must punish one of his own, I will see the Chantry done the same courtesy. Lily will not walk free while my apprentice suffers.”

“She’s just trying to save the man she loves...”

“She is also breaking every vow she ever took.”

“Will you report Lily’s betrayal to Greagoir?”

“If we mention her involvement, the Chantry will say that she was framed. No... she must be caught in the act.”

“You’re right. The Chantry would do the same to us.”

“If you want to survive, you must learn the rules and that sometimes, sacrifices are necessary. Jowan will become Tranquil, but Lily must also face the consequences of her actions. How did you learn of their plan? Do they trust you?”

“Yes. I’ll need to get this form signed then.”

“A rod of fire? Why do you... I understand. Trying to break through the door this way? Interesting...”

“This will work, won’t it?”

“The phylactery chamber door is warded, and resists all magic worked upon it.

“What am I supposed to do then?”

“Hmmm. Not easy breaking into a locked chamber, is it. Still... Ah, yes... The phylactery chamber shares a vault with the artifact vault. Age and dampness seeping up from the ground have weakened a segment of it. You can break down this part of the wall to gain entrance into the chamber.”

“How would I do this?”

Listening as Irving explained how to break in, she knew this would also be an opportunity for Anders to escape. He would need to wait until the dust cleared and all was settled with Jowan, but there would be an opportunity for him to sneak out in the meantime. Thanking Irving for his help, she went to find her friend. Spotting him as he was leaving the dining hall, she flagged him over to her.

“You must be blessed by the gods, Anders.” she said softly as they walked towards the stockroom.

“Why?” he asked.

“There’s going to be an opportunity for you to get out. I can’t give you details, but you’ll know when the time is right. Just make sure you’re on the main floor for the next little while.” she smiled.

Seeing him return the gesture, she parted ways with him as they reached the stockroom. Handing Owain the form for the rod of fire, she waited while he went and retrieved it. Making her way back to the Chantry, she saw the nervous way Lily and Jowan were watching the door. Offering them a reassuring smile, she nodded her head to let them know she’d been successful. The relief on their faces was palpable, and she turned to make for the door to the lower level. Spotting Anders lurking nearby with a book in his hand, she smirked as she saw his eyes following them.

Slipping unseen into the lower hallway, she soon was navigating her way through the lower levels of the Tower. Knowing time was of the essence, she finally spotted the room that Irving had mentioned, and the statue that she was to use to break down the wall. Having Jowan move aside the giant bookcase, she lowered the rod of fire and aimed it at the crumbling mortar. Cringing as the explosion echoed through the chamber, she knew they wouldn’t have much time before the Templars would send someone to investigate the strange noise. Waving Jowan and Lily in, she swallowed the lump in her throat as she followed him up the stairs to the shelves that held the apprentice’s phylacteries.

“That’s my phylactery! We _found_ it, Ree! I can’t believe this tiny vial stands between me and freedom...” Jowan said, picking it up carefully. “So fragile... So _easy_ just to be rid of it... to end its hold over me...”

Seeing him drop the little glass jar to the ground, she knew it was now impossible for the Templars to track him. Closing her eyes, she hoped Irving would be waiting when they exited the chamber.

“And I am free...” he breathed, closing his eyes as he smiled.

“We need to leave, before we’re discovered here.” Shaari whispered, turning for the stairs that led back to the magical door.

“I agree. I do _not_ want to stay here a moment longer.” Lily stated.

Stepping out and shutting the door behind them, Shaari looked around for Anders. Spotting him eyeing her from the other side of the hall, she gave him an almost imperceptible nod. Turning her attention back to Jowan as he spoke, she knew that Irving and Greagoir would find them any minute.

“We _did_ it! I can’t believe it, thank you!” Jowan smiled, looking over at her. “We could never have...”

Hearing the heavily armored footsteps of the Templars, she closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath.

“So what you said was true, Irving.” Greagoir stated, approaching them quickly.

“I assure you, this isn’t what it looks like, Knight Commander.” Lily began.

“An initiate, conspiring with a blood mage. I’m disappointed, Lily.” Greagoir said firmly. “She seems shocked, but fully in control of her own mind. _Not_ the thrall of a blood mage, then. You were right, Irving. The initiate has betrayed us. The Chantry will not let this go unpunished. And this one. Newly a mage, and already flouting the rules of the Circle.” he finished, returning to stand by Irving’s side.

“It’s not her fault! This was _my_ idea!” Jowan interrupted.

“She is here under my orders, Greagoir. I take full responsibility for her actions.” Irving stated, folding his arms across his chest.

“Wait! You... you led us into a _trap_?” Jowan asked, turning to face her.

“I’m sorry, Jowan...” Sharri began.

Seeing Cullen standing just behind Greagoir, she offered him a small smile before returning her attention to her friend.

“Don’t you _dare_ speak to me!” he snapped.

“Enough!” Greagoir intervened. “As Knight Commander of the Templars here assembled, I sentence this blood mage to death. And this initiate has scorned the Chantry _and_ her vows. Take her to Aeonar.” he finished coldly.

Watching as two of the other Templars stepped forward to carry out Greagoir’s orders, she heard Lily gasp.

“The... the mage’s prison? No... _please_ no... Not there!” she begged, taking a step back from Jowan.

“No! I won’t let you touch her!” Jowan shouted.

Watching him pull a dagger from the sleeve of his robes, she paled as he then proceeded to stab it into his hand violently. Blood burst angrily from his palm, creating a blast of energy that knocked almost everyone off their feet. Shielding her eyes, Shaari looked around in confusion. It was as though time stood still, everything happening in slow motion. Turning her attention to Cullen, she realized he had thrown himself in the way of Jowan’s spell, protecting her with his Templar abilities from the chaos the other mage was creating. Meeting his eyes, she knew that if his actions were noticed by any of the other Templars, he would be strongly reprimanded.

“Cullen...” she whispered softly. “Thank you...”

“I trusted you, Shaari. I warned you not to associate with this man.” he replied in the stillness.

“I said nothing, Cullen. Irving told me when I asked about Jowan’s Harrowing. After hearing what you’d said and being asked by both Jowan and Lily to help them escape, I went straight to him to tell him of their plans. I didn’t betray your trust.”

“Then why are you here?”

“Irving asked me to see that he was caught in the act of trying to escape. He knew about the relationship between Jowan and Lily, and wanted to see them both punished, not just him.”

“I... I believe you.” Cullen smiled softly, tracing her cheek lightly with an armored thumb.

Hearing Lily speaking suddenly, she was reminded that they were not alone.

“By the Maker... _blood_ magic! How... how _could_ you! You said you never...” she said, backing slowly away from him.

“I admit I... I _dabbled_! I thought it would make me a better mage!” Jowan retorted.

“Blood magic is evil, Jowan. It corrupts people... changes them...” she continued as she retreated farther.

“I’m going to give it up! _All_ magic! I just want to be with _you_ , Lily. Please... come with me...” he begged.

“I trusted you... I was ready to sacrifice _everything_ for you... I... I don’t know who you are, blood mage. Stay away from me...” she finished.

Seeing Jowan turn to run, she felt her heart aching for the woman. To be betrayed by the one you loved was a fate she didn’t want to even think about. Watching as time slowly returned to normal, she saw Cullen move quickly away from her to keep anyone from becoming suspicious of their budding relationship. Dropping to her knees, she crawled over to Irving and Greagoir, wanting them to believe that she too had been felled by Jowan’s spell.

“Are you alright?” Irving asked, sitting up slowly to meet her eyes. ‘Where’s Greagoir?”

“I knew it... blood magic. But to overcome so many... I never thought him capable of such power or I would have acted sooner.” Greagoir growled, rolling to his knees and pressing himself up to his feet.

“He lied to me too.” Shaari said softly.

She needed them to believe she was unaware of Jowan’s secret, lest Cullen and Irving get in trouble. It would have looked bad on her as well, as they would count her as an accomplice to a blood mage. Such would earn her Tranquility or worse... death. Looking to Irving as she helped him to his feet, she felt relieved that he wasn’t harmed by the blast.

“None of us expected this. Are you alright, Greagoir?” he asked, meeting the Knight Commander’s hardened gaze.

“As good as can b expected, given the circumstances. If you had let me act sooner, none of this would have happened!” Greagoir growled angrily. “Now we have a blood mage on the loose and no way to track him down!”

“Yes... Jowan destroyed his phylactery. I was hoping...” Shaari sighed.

“Where is the girl?” Greagoir snapped.

“I... I am here, Ser.” Lily answered meekly.

“You helped a blood mage! Look at all he’s hurt!” Greagoir retorted.

“Lily didn’t know Jowan was a blood mage, Knight Commander.” Shaari offered softly.

“Save your breath. I can speak for myself.” Lily stated, meeting her eyes coldly before turning her attention back to Greagoir. “Knight Commander... I... I was wrong. I was an accomplice to a... a blood mage. I will accept whatever punishment you see fit... Even... even Aeonar.” she finished sadly.

“Get her out of my sight!” Greagoir barked, motioning for two of the Templars assembled to take her into custody. “And _you_... You were in a repository full of magics that are locked away for a reason.”

“Did you take anything important from the repository?” Irving asked, turning to face her. 

“Yes, this staff, and you can have it back if you like.” Shaari answered, handing the weapon over to the First Enchanter.

“Some honesty at last... But your antics have made a _mockery_ of this Circle! Oh... what are we to do with you?” Greagoir growled.

“I was only doing as I was told, Knight Commander.” Shaari replied.

“As I said, she was working under my orders, Greagoir.” Irving interrupted.

“And this _improves_ the situation? The phylactery chamber is forbidden to all save you and me!”

“I had my reasons.” Irving stated, folding his arms across his chest.

“You’re not all-knowing, Irving! You don’t know how much influence the blood mage might have had! How are we to deal with this?” Greagoir retorted angrily.

“Knight Commander, if I may...” Duncan said as he approached. “I am not only looking for mages to join the King’s army. I am also recruiting for the Grey Wardens. Irving spoke highly of this mage, and I would like her to join the Warden ranks.”

“What? You promised him a _new_ Grey Warden?” Greagoir snapped, looking from Duncan to the First Enchanter.

“She has served the Circle well. She would make an excellent Grey Warden.” Irving replied.

“We look for dedication in our recruits. Fighting the darkspawn requires such dedication, often at the expense of all else.” Duncan stated.

“I object! You say she operated under your instructions, Irving, but I do not trust her! I must investigate this issue, and I will _not_ release this mage to the Grey Warden!” Greagoir snarled.

“If the Grey Wardens will have me, I would love to go with Duncan.” Shaari said, smiling up at the Warden before turning a hopeful gaze to Greagoir.

“Greagoir, mages are needed. This mage is needed. Worse things plague this world than blood mages... you know that.” Duncan said calmly.

Catching the worried look from Cullen as she glanced over, she knew in her heart she wouldn’t be attending the meeting they’d arranged for lunch. Swallowing the tears that threatened to fall, she turned back as she heard Duncan continue.

“I take this young mage under my wing and bear all responsibility for her actions.”

“This mage does not _deserve_ a place in the order.” Greagoir growled.

“Why? Do we not reward service? This mage has served the Circle well.” Irving added.

“NO! She does _not_ deserve a reward for her actions! I will _not_ permit her to leave the Tower!” Greagoir snapped.

“Then you leave me no choice, Knight Commander. I invoke the Rite of Conscription. As leader of the Grey Wardens in Ferelden, this is my right. I will take this mage with me to Ostagar to become a Warden, where she will fight the darkspawn in service to our King.” Duncan stated firmly, folding his arms across his chest.

“You have an opportunity few even dream of... Do not squander it.” Irving said gently, smiling in thanks at Dunan.

“I will be a representative of the Ferelden Circle of Magi, and serve the Wardens as such, in honor to my teaching, and to the gift the Maker himself gave me.” Shaari stated proudly.

She didn’t believe in the Maker, being Dalish. She knew that Cullen _did_ though, and would not lose face in his eyes. Casting a glance in his direction, she saw the sadness he tried so desperately to hide. It was something she shared, as she knew that her life in the Circle was over. She doubted she’d ever be able to return, if she somehow managed to survive the war she was leaving to face. Seeing the small heart he made with his hands in front of his chest, she nodded slightly to let him know she felt the same.

“Be proud, child. You are luckier than you know.” Irving said, drawing her attention back to the conversation at hand.

“Thank you... for _everything_ , First Enchanter. Knight Commander... May the Maker watch over you.” she replied, turning to face the man who had first brought her to the Tower.

“Come. Your new life awaits...” Duncan said, turning towards the hall that would take them to the main door of the Keep.

Looking over her shoulder as she made to follow them, she watched as Cullen escorted them to the massive entry doors. Noting that the two Templars that normally guarded them were absent, she paused to draw a steadying breath.

“Duncan... Might I have a moment?” she asked softly.

Seeing him look from her to Cullen, she bit her lip. She let out the breath she’d been holding as he nodded and proceeded from the Keep, allowing her a moment with Cullen. Waiting until the door had shut, she turned to face the man.

“Cullen...” she said softly, letting him pull her into his arms.

“It will be alright, Ree. You’ll be safer _there_ than you will be here with Greagoir...” he replied.

“I know, but... Creators...”

Tears streamed from her eyes and onto his armor. Meeting his eyes as he tilted her chin up to face him, she savored the kiss he placed on her lips. It was painful, knowing this very well could be the last time she ever saw him. Seeing the tears in his own eyes as he slowly pulled away, she knew his heart was breaking as badly as her own was.

“I... I love you, Shaari. I know it might not be possible, but... If you can, come back to me...” he whispered.

“I love you too, Cullen... This isn’t fair... What if...”

“No matter what comes, I will never forget you. Now go, while I still have the strength to let you.” he breathed, taking a step back from her.

Nodding her head, she turned once again to the massive door and stepped through. Hearing it close tightly behind her, she felt as though it had taken her heart with it. Tears fell freely over her cheeks, and she struggled to simply put one foot in front of the other. Seeing the look of sorrow Duncan was giving her, she knew he understood her pain more than anyone else could. Letting him lead her down to the docks, she slowly stepped into the boat that would take her forever away from the man she loved with all her being...


	4. Chapter 4

“Are you alright?” Duncan asked as they made camp for the night.

Lifting her eyes to meet his, she knew he saw the tears she cried. Wiping them away, she swallowed the painful lump in her throat.

“Had you known him long?”

“Since he came to the Circle five years ago. We... we’d kept our feelings to ourselves for fear of reprimand or punishment. Templars are supposed to keep their distance from mages, in case anything were to happen and the mage had to be stricken down. The Chantry doesn’t want their judgement clouded should the worst happen. We’d shared the occasional flirtatious glance, a smile brighter than those we gave to anyone else... It was only after my Harrowing last night that either of us found the courage to say something. We were... I wanted to seek a life with him _away_ from the Chantry and away from the _Tower_. We were supposed to meet after lunch today to... _discuss_ that possibility.” she replied softly.

“I am sorry... There was no telling what Greagoir would have done had I not acted. If there was any way I could have spared you this... I hope you know that I would not have invoked the Rite of Conscription if I had any other choice.” Duncan said gently, meeting her eyes levelly.

“I don’t know what happened to change Greagoir... He used to be happy... His laugh infected all who heard it. Now... He’s cold to mages. He’s not the same man that was kind and gentle when he found me away from my clan all those years ago...”

“He loved a mage once.” Duncan said softly, placing the meat over the fire she’d created.

“What happened?”

“She left the Tower briefly on some errand for the First Enchanter, and when she returned... she wasn’t the same. He discovered that she’d been practicing blood magic, and had allowed herself to become host to a demon. She disabled most of the Templars there at the time when confronted with the evidence, forcing him to be the one to strike her down. It nearly destroyed him to do so, but he knew she had to be stopped. He was changed by the experience, as you well know.” Duncan replied.

“I can understand his fear, and why he became so cold to us mages. Irving seems to be the only one he tolerates well, and as you saw earlier, their relationship is strained at best. I just wish he wouldn’t judge us all based on her actions. We’re not all monsters...”

“Do you think your own Templar would have done differently, had it been you?”

“No... He said as much when he came to... escort me to the meeting with Irving. He was willing to trust me though, enough to consider a life with me away from the Chantry and the Tower. Now... I’ll never know what our future could have held...”

Feeling the tears slipping silently, over her cheeks, she blinked in surprise when she felt Duncan’s calloused thumb brush them away. Meeting his eyes, she saw the same sorrow there that she herself felt.

“When I was younger, I was cocky and arrogant. I was the second son of a farmer in Highever, and thought I knew all the secrets the world had to offer. When I took our merchandise to market, I never expected to meet the one person that could tame my wild ways. She was an elven servant at Highever castle, and the most beautiful woman I’d ever met. Her hair was a deep ember, and her eyes were captivating and green. I wanted to impress her, and tried everything I thought just might. It wasn’t until I gave up my antics that she even gave me the time of day. She was beautiful, and we were soon planning our own life together. 

“We married in secret, as her father didn’t want her being tied to a farmer. We didn’t care though, we loved each other. I was twenty, and she, barely eighteen. Our first child was due to arrive within the first year we were together, and I couldn’t have been happier. I was out tending the field that my father had given me when a roving band of darkspawn found their way to us. I managed to kill four or five with my scythe before I heard the scream that still tears my heart to pieces...

“I rushed to the small house I’d built to find it ablaze. Forcing my way through the flames and broken beams, I saw one of the beasts looming over my sweet Vanessa. He had ripped my child, a boy, from her belly and was eating him. I was blinded by rage and set on him like a man possessed. My wife had died of the wounds the monster had inflicted, and now it was devouring my unborn son for a snack. I killed the beast and drug my family from the flames. I’d lost everything that day, and wanted only to avenge them. When the Wardens came through in their pursuit of the darkspawn, I begged them to let me join.”

“I’m so sorry, Duncan.”

“It’s been almost thirty years and not a day goes by that I don’t miss them. I’ve seen Wardens come and go, some lost to the taint while others have fallen against the beasts we are mean to fight. Some people become jaded by all the loss, but each one still affects me on a personal level. I can’t help but think of the families of those who fall and all that they suffer. It never gets easier, no matter how many years pass.”

Wishing only to return to Cullen, she knew she had to get her mind off all that might have been with him. Clearing her throat, she met Duncan’s eyes as she asked about where they were going.

“We will be traveling south through the Hinterlands to the ruin of Ostagar, on the edges of the Korcari Wilds. The Tevinter Imperium built Ostagar long ago to prevent the Wilders from invading the northern lowlands. It’s fitting we make our stand here, even if we face a different foe in that forest. The King’s forces have clashed with the darkspawn several times, but here is where the bulk of the horde will show itself.” he replied.

Offering him a small smile of understanding, she found her thoughts drifting back to her clan. She wondered if they’d gone looking for her or tried to get her back. She wondered if her family still lived, if the Keeper had passed her staff to her First, if Tamlen had been bound to another woman. She thought about Cullen. Would he find love again and forget all about her? Looking to Duncan as he pulled out a bedroll for her, she thanked him softly before slipping into it. She’d never been camping like this, not since she was a little girl. Now, there was nothing to block her view of the moon and stars above. Drawing in a deep breath, she tried to force herself to sleep.

The days that followed seemed longer than they actually were, and the terrain, at times, was unforgiving. The Hinterlands reminded her of her brief time with her clan, as some of the ground they covered was very similar. Duncan did his best to keep her mind off all that she was missing... _who_ she was missing, for which she was grateful. It never got easier emotionally, though it was a pain Duncan understood and empathized with.

Seeing the massive ruin come into sight, Shaari let out a weary breath. It felt as though they’d been traveling for an eternity, and while she’d been born Dalish, she’d spent most of her life in the Circle Tower. She was unaccustomed to the rugged terrain they’d crossed, something Duncan was considerate about. He knew life in the Circle had taken away most of her familiarity with life outside its walls, and only pushed as hard as she was able to bear. The stone path was a nice change, though her body had quickly regained its ability to adapt. Looking to Duncan as he spoke, she offered him a warm smile.

“There are only a few Grey Wardens within Ferelden at the moment, but all of us are here. This Blight must be stopped here and now. If it spreads to the north, Ferelden will fall.” Duncan said, crossing the courtyard to a large bridge. 

Spotting a man in glittering golden armor, she couldn’t help but appreciate his physique. He looked every bit the warrior, but there was also something regal about him. He was nothing compared to Cullen though, but she doubted there ever _would_ be such a man in her eyes. Watching as the knight came to stand before them, she noted the charming smile that he flashed in their direction.

“Ho there, Duncan!” he said, extending his arm in greeting.

“King Cailan? I didn’t expect...” Duncan smiled, taking the proffered arm.

“A Royal welcome? I was beginning to worry you’d miss all the fun!” Cailan replied, beaming happily.

“Not if I could help it, your Majesty.” Duncan replied.

“Then I’ll have the mighty Duncan at my side in battle after all! Glorious! The other Wardens told me you’d found a promising recruit. I take it this is she?” he asked, turning his gaze on Shaari.

“Allow me to introduce you, your Majesty.” Duncan replied, turning toward her as well.

“There’s no need to be so formal, Duncan. We’ll be shedding blood together, after all.” Cailan interrupted. “Ho there, friend. Might I know your name?”

Looking up at the imposing figure before her, Shaari wondered how it was he wasn’t surrounded at all times by beautiful women. His smile was easy and his teal eyes sparkled brilliantly at her. Her heart skipped a beat as he stepped closer, the air in her lungs halting as it caught in her throat.

“I am Shaari, your Majesty. I am honored to meet you.” she replied, bowing her head slightly.

“Shaari? That’s _Dalish_ , is it not?” he asked curiously.

“It is, your Majesty.” she replied.

“How did you come to the Circle if you were with a clan?”

“Knight Commander Greagoir found me while I was out gathering berries as a young girl. Some of the humans in a village near where my clan camped had spotted me while they were looking to prey upon the hapless souls that passed by. I’d gotten away from the bandits before, but they called for the Templars after I lit one on fire. In my attempt to escape his companions, I literally ran into Greagoir as he searched about for me. I was taken to the Circle where I’ve spent the majority of my life now, far from the Dalish I knew and loved.” she replied, a hint of sorrow coloring her words.

“I am very sorry. The Chantry is too strict in their control over you mages. Templars are necessary, but you should not be taken so suddenly from those you love.” Cailan stated gently. “I am, however, pleased to meet you. Dalish mages are exceptional, and I am honored to have you with us. They Grey Wardens are desperate to bolster their numbers, and I for one, am glad to help them. I trust you have some spells to help us in the coming battle?”

“I’ll do my best, your Majesty.”

“Cailan. Please, call me by my name.”

Smiling up at him, she nodded her head.

“Your abilities are well above those of your fellow mages. That the Grey Wardens have recruited you says as much. Allow me to be the first to welcome you to Ostagar. The Wardens will benefit greatly with you in their ranks.” Cailan smiled charmingly.

“You’re too kind, your Majesty.” Shaari replied.

“I’m sorry to cut this short, but I should return to my tent. Loghain waits eagerly to bore me with his strategies.” Cailan sighed.

“Your uncle sends his greetings and reminds you that Redcliffe forces could be here in less than a week.” Duncan offered, drawing the man’s attention off her.

“Ha! Eamon just wants in on the glory. We’ve won three battles against these monsters, and tomorrow should be no different.” Cailan retorted.

“I didn’t know things were going so well.” Shaari commented.

“I’m not even sure this is a true Blight. There are plenty of darkspawn on the field, but alas, we’ve seen no sign of an archdemon.” Cailan said, turning to stare at the ruins.

“Disappointed, your Majesty?” Duncan asked skeptically.

“I’d hoped for a war like in the tales! A King riding with the fabled Grey Wardens against a tainted god! But I suppose this will have to do.” Cailan replied, turning back to face them. “Now I should go before Loghain sends out a search party. Farewell, Grey Wardens.”

Watching him turn to go, she followed Duncan’s lead in bowing to him. Catching the way he looked after the King, Shaari couldn’t help notice the disappointment in his eyes.

“Are you ok?” she asked, offering him a small smile as he turned to face her.

“What the King said is true. They’ve won several battles against the darkspawn here.”

“He didn’t seem to take the darkspawn threat seriously...”

“True...” Duncan said, motioning for her to walk with him. “Despite the victories so far, the darkspawn horde grows larger with each passing day. By now, they look to out number us. I _know_ there is an Archdemon behind this, but I cannot ask the King to act solely on my feeling.”

“Why not? He seems to regard the Grey Wardens highly.” Shaari said, stopping just before a massive bridge.

“Yet not enough to wait for reinforcements from the Grey Wardens of Orlais.He believes our legend alone makes him invulnerable. Our numbers in Ferelden are too few. We must do what we can, and look to Teyrn Loghain to make up the difference. To that end, we should proceed with the Joining ritual without delay.” Duncan replied.

“What do you mean? What ritual?”

“Every recruit must go through a secret ritual we call the Joining in order to become a Grey Warden. The ritual is brief, but some preparation is required. We must begin soon.”

“Why is this ritual so secret?”

“The Joining is dangerous. I cannot speak more of it except to say that you will learn all in good time. Until then, you must trust that what is done is necessary.”

“Is this anything like the Harrowing?”

“It is an ordeal. I am sorry that you must endure another so soon.”

“Am I the only recruit you have?”

“No, there are two other recruits here already. They have been waiting for us to arrive.”

“What do you need me to do?”

“Feeel free to explore the camp here as you wish. All I ask is that you do not leave it for the time being.” Duncan said, turning toward the bridge and starting across it. “There is another Grey Warden in the camp by the name of Alistair. When you are ready, seek him out and tell him it’s time to summon the other recruits. Until then, I have business I must attend to. You may find me at the Grey Warden tent on the other side of this bridge, should you need to.” he finished.

“Duncan...” she said, meeting his eyes as he turned to face her once again. “Thank you... for _everything_.

The smile he gave her was the only acknowledgement she needed. Stepping onto the bridge, she couldn’t help be feel uneasy about the height. The Tower didn’t have windows on the higher levels, and those on the other floors didn’t open enough to allow a view of the lake below. They might have, at one time, but then Anders had attempted to escape so many times that they’d had to be altered. Smiling to herself, she knew that he’d managed to escape in the confusion that Jowan had created, and given that he’d destroyed his own phylactery unbeknownst to both Irving and Greagoir, there was no way for the Templars to track him.

Closing her eyes, she saw Cullen’s shy smile come into view and drew in a long breath. Her heart ached for him, and wondered if he shared her pain. He was a young, handsome man, and there was no doubt other women had mentioned how they’d wanted to catch his eye. She wondered how long it would be before his gaze fell on one of them. Would she be able to return to the Tower once the Blight was taken care of, or was she forever apart from the only home she’d had for the last ten years of her life. Forcing those thoughts from her mind, she nervously began her path across the bridge.

The people she encountered on the other side were warm and welcoming. She was apprehensive, as most were wary or hateful towards mages. She wasn’t wearing the traditional robes of a mage however, which was likely the reason behind their kindness. She was an elf as well, which most considered should only be slaves or runners for one party or another. Walking slowly among them, she saw one of the sentries watching her and felt as though she were exposed. This was her first time out of the Tower since she’d first arrived there, and she wasn’t sure how her presence would be received. Overwhelmed by the openness of the ruin, she felt her heart begin to race. Until then, she’d never been alone... no one was there to watch her or make sure she only used her spells in an appropriate setting. Her head was suddenly growing light, and she knew she would need help finding this Warden ‘Alistair’. The sooner, the better, really. Approaching one of the soldiers, she offered him a shy smile as he spoke.

“This place hasn’t seen such bustle in centuries, I’ll wager. Need a hand getting anywhere?” he asked, smiling happily at her.

“I’m looking for a Grey Warden named Alistair. Might you know where I can find him?” she asked.

“Try heading north. I think he was sent with a message to the mages.” the man replied.

“What can you tell me about Ostagar?”

“Used to be a fortress, long time ago, so I understand. Back in the days when the Wilders used to invade the lowlands. You were just on the eastern side of the ruin. The Tower of Ishal is there, but Teyrn Loghain’s closed it off until the battle. This side is the King’s camp. We got the Grey Wardens here, the Circle of Magi, the Chantry... you can’t swing a dead cat without hitting somebody important.”

“The Circle is here?” she asked, hoping she would know some of the mages there.

“A few mages, yes. They even brought those creepy quiet fellows, the Tranquil. Gives me the shivers when they talk, all cold and uneven.” the man replied.

“They _used_ to be mages before their gift was severed from them. They have no emotions, don’t dream... It’s the Chantry’s way of controlling us if they even _suspect_ we might become a danger...” Shaari defended.

“They’re... uh, they’re to the north of here, bunched up with a herd of Templars glaring at them. Can’t miss it. I saw you speaking with the King when you first arrived. He was all happy about meeting you, couldn’t contain his joy. He is probably in his tent, in case you were wondering. He and Teyrn Loghain are on the southwest side of the camp. The King likes to spend time with his soldiers, though, sometimes even without his bodyguards. Drives Teyrn Loghain wild, that does.”

“I should... probably be on my way. Thanks for the information.” she smiled, moving around him to resume her hunt for Alistair.

“Good luck to you, then.” the man replied, returning the gesture.

Taking her time to explore the camp a little bit, she listened to the sound of men’s voices raised in argument. Walking slowly over, she was halted by a guard just on the outside one of the larger tents in the camp.

“You approach the tent of Teyrn Loghain. State your business.” the man said coldly.

“I don’t think I know anything about the Teyrn, might you tell me?” Shaari asked, catching the way the man looked at her with disgust.

“How can you not know of Loghain? He helped free Ferelden. He was the brains behind Maric’s armies, and drove out those damned Orlesians. King Maric rewarded him by making him a Teyrn. Can you imagine? A commoner became a high nobleman, just like that.” the guard answered gruffly.

“I meant no disrespect, Ser. I was raised in the Circle of Magi, and before that, lived with my clan on the outskirts of human civilizations. The Circle was more focused on teaching me to control my magic, rather than the history of our nation.”

“Without Loghain, you can bet the King wouldn’t be winning against these darkspawn.”

“Is the Teyrn inside? I’d truly like to meet him, if possible.” she smiled sweetly.

“He’s inside, but... I don’t think it’s my place to discuss his activities.”

“Surely you can tell me a little about him.” she persuaded.

“I suppose... as long as we talk quietly. He and the King have been arguing for days.” the man answered, lowering his voice. “The Teyrn’s known the King since he was swaddled, so they don’t stand on ceremony. The Teyrn speaks his mind, and the King yells right back. Personally, I think the King should do what Teyrn Loghain tells him. Without the Teyrn, we wouldn’t be doing as well here as we are.”

“So... May I have an audience with the Teyrn, please?”

“I suppose you... might have a message for the Teyrn, yes?” he said, looking for a reason to allow her the audience she requested. “Hold on, then.”

Watching him disappear into the tent, she heard it go quiet. When the heavily armored man came tromping toward her, she knew at once why he commanded the respect he did. He was enormous; he easily towered over the other men around him by more than a head, and his shoulders were wide as wagon. His features were harsh, though Shaari could tell he was a very attractive man before age and war settled on him. Swallowing her case of nerves, she offered a small smile.

“Yes, what is it?” Loghain asked, coming to stand before her. “Ah, You’re are Duncan’s new Grey Warden, I assume.”

Looking up at the bear of the man before her, she met his pale blue eyes levelly.

“How do you know that?” she asked, offering him a small smile that she hoped would set the man at ease.

“His Majesty could not contain his excitement after your meeting. How could I _not_ hear about you? Cailan’s fascination goes beyond the ordinary. Are you aware his father back to Ferelden?” he asked.

“No, I didn’t know that.” she replied.

“Maric respected the Grey Wardens. They have an honored place in the hearts of our people. But Maric would have understood that it takes more than legends to win a battle. That’s not an argument I’ll repeat here. I hear you’re from the Circle of Magi. The First Enchanter spoke very highly of you... A great achievement, for one so young. I don’t suppose you’ll be riding into battle with the rest of your fellows, will you?”

“It would be an exciting change from life in the Circle.”

“Here for the glory, then? Fair enough. Now, I must return to my task. Pray that our King prove amenable to wisdom, if you’re the praying sort.”

“You don’t seem very found of him, my lord.” she dared.

“He is Maric’s son, and the leader of my beloved Ferelden. And a _very_ young man. I try to keep that in mind, as should you.” Loghain finished coldly.

“Yes, Ser. As you say.” she replied, saluting him as he turned back to his tent.

Letting out the breath she’d been holding, she got the feeling that perhaps he might be trouble somewhere down the line. Looking briefly around, she noticed Duncan standing near a roaring fire and thought to join him, if only for a moment. Closing her eyes, she knew she needed to resume her hunt for this ‘Alistair’ character before she became more distracted than she already was. Glancing around to try and get a sense of where she was, she spotted one of the Senior Enchanters from the Tower and let out a sigh of relief. Making her way over, she offered the woman a relieved smile.

“What do we have here? I heard the new Grey Warden recruit was from the Circle.” the woman said, folding her arms across her chest. “I don’t believe we’ve met, but I’ve certainly heard a lot about your talent. My name in Wynne, and I congratulate you on your Harrowing. Marvelous work, the Fade is a dangerous place.”

“I found it terrifying, to be honest. It definitely wasn’t like anything I’d expected it to be.” Shaari replied.

“I thought the same. It’s good you can admit that. So... A grey Warden... fighting alongside the King. Not too shabby for someone just out of apprenticeship.”

Smiling at the praise, she spoke with Wynne a while before asking if she’d heard where Alistair was supposed to be. Thanking her, she turned and headed in the direction she was instructed. Walking up a stone path, she soon found herself the intruder in an argument between two men, one of which was obviously a mage. Not wanting to interrupt, she remained silent as she listened to them speaking.

“What is it now?” the mage asked, obviously tired of the conversation. “Haven’t the Grey Wardens asked more than enough of the Circle?”

“I simply came to deliver a message from the revered mother, ser mage. She desires your presence.” the younger man replied.

Taking a moment to study his features, she couldn’t help but notice an uncanny resemblance to the King. She wondered if there was some relation between the two men, as they could have easily passed for brothers, should they desire such. Turning her attention back to the mage as he interrupted her thoughts, she listened as he responded to the man before him.

“What her ‘Reverence’ desires is of no concern to me! I am busy helping the Grey Wardens... by the King’s orders, I might add!” the man retorted coldly.

“Should I have asked her to write a note?” the younger man smirked.

“Tell her I will not be harassed in this manner!”

“Yes. I was harassing _you_ by delivering a message.”

“Your glibness does you no credit.” the mage said coldly, folding his arms across his chest.

“Here I thought we were getting along so well. I was even going to name one of my children after you... the _grumpy_ one.” the younger man teased.

“Enough! I will speak to the woman if I must! Get out of my way, fool!” the mage barked, stepping around the younger man to go and find the revered mother.

“You know, one good thing about the Blight is how it brings people together.” the younger man smirked, turning towards her.

“I know exactly what you mean!” Shaari responded, feeling more at ease in his presence.

“It’s like a party! We could all stand in a circle and hold hands. _That_ would give the darkspawn something to think about.” he chuckled. “Wait... we haven’t met, have we? I don’t suppose you happen to be another mage?” he finished, the humor leaving his voice.

“I am indeed a mage.” Shaari replied, meeting his amber eyes.

“Really? You don’t look like a mage... Uh...that is.. I mean... how interesting.” the man stammered. “Wait... I _do_ know who you are... You’re Duncan’s new recruit, from the Circle of Magi. I should have recognized you right away. I apologize.”

“That’s alright, no offense taken.” she smiled.

“Good. You didn’t exactly catch me at my finest with the mage there... Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Alistair, the new Grey Warden... though, I guess you knew that.” he said, offering her a small smile. “As the junior member of the order, I’ll be accompanying you when you prepare for the Joining.”

“Pleased to meet you, Alistair. My name is Shaari.” she smiled in return. “What can you tell me about this Joining?”

“Honestly, nothing. Try not to worry about it... it will just... _distract_ you.” Alistair answered. “You know... it just occured to me that there have never been many _women_ in the Grey Wardens. I wonder why that is?”

“You want more women in the Wardens, do you?” she smirked.

“Would that be so bad? Not that I’m some drooling letcher, or anything... Please stop looking at me like that.” he blushed.

“It’s probably because we’re too smart for you.”

“True... But if _you’re_ here, what does that make you?” he chuckled.

“Just one of the boys.” she laughed.

“Sad, isn’t it. Especially since I’ve never seen a boy so pretty.” he teased. “So, I’m curious. Have you ever _actually_ encountered darkspawn before?”

“Have you?”

“When I fought my first one, I wasn’t prepared for how monstrous it was. I can’t say I’m looking forward to encountering another... Anyhow, whenever you’re ready, let’s head back to Duncan. I’m sure he’s eager to get things started.” Alistair stated.

“That argument I saw... what was it about?” she asked, turning to walk alongside him.

“With the mage? The Circle is here at the King’s request, and the Chantry doesn’t like that one bit. They just _love_ letting mages know how unwelcome they are. Which puts me in a bit of an awkward position... I was once a Templar.” he confessed.

“You were a mage-hunter?” she asked, her guard instantly going up.

“Not that that’s all Templars do, but yes.The Chantry raised my until Duncan recruited me six months ago... I’m sure the revered mother meant it as an insult, sending me as her messenger, and the mage picked right up on that... I never would have agreed to deliver it, but Duncan says we’re all to cooperate and get along... Apparently, they didn’t get the same speech.”

“Well, _despite_ you being a mage-hunter, I look forward to traveling with you, Alistair.”

“You do? Huh. That’s a switch. May I ask why?”

“You just did.” she teased.

“Very funny.” he chuckled.

“I thought so.” she smirked.

“Let’s get a move on.”

Taking a few more minutes to speak with him, she tried to ask more about the Grey Wardens, and the Joining she was soon to face. He responded much the same as he had the first time she’d asked, which did nothing to ease her concerns. Breathing a sigh of relief when she saw Duncan talking with two other men near the fire, she knew she was safe from _this_ particular Templar, if only for the time being. Offering him a warm, relieved smile, she felt the tension ease from her shoulders as his soothing voice helped to calm her fears.


	5. Chapter 5

“You found Alistair, I see. Good. I’ll assume you’re ready to begin preparations.” he said, returning her warm smile. “Assuming, of course, that you’re quite finished riling up mages, Alistair.” he finished, scolding the man.

“What can I say? The revered mother ambushed me. The way she wields guilt, they should stick _her_ in the army.” Alistair joked.

“She forced you to sass the mage, did she? We cannot afford to antagonize anyone, Alistair. We don’t need to give anyone more ammunition against us.”

“You’re right, Duncan. I apologize.” Alistair said sheepishly.

“Now then.” Duncan began, turning to face the rest of them. “Since you are all here, we can begin. You four will be heading into the Korcari Wilds to perform two tasks. The first is to obtain three vials of darkspawn blood, one for each recruit.”

“What do we need darkspawn blood for?” Shaari asked skeptically.

“For the Joining itself. I’ll explain more once you’ve returned.” Duncan answered.

“Go into the Wilds? Isn’t that dangerous?” the man named Daveth queried.

“You weren’t recruited out of _charity_.” Duncan replied, arching a brow at the man. “All three of you are skilled and resourceful. Alistair is the most junior member of our Order, and will accompany you, as is tradition. Do not worry. I doubt you will need to go far to find what you seek.”

“Surely you could have acquired some blood before now.” the man named Jory stated.

“Of course. You must work together to collect the components, however.” Duncan said, looking over at him. “It’s as much a part of the Joining as what comes after.”

“And what’s the second task?” Shaari asked, ignoring the displeased looks on the two men’s faces.

“There was once a Grey Warden archive in the Wilds, abandoned long ago when we could no longer afford to maintain such remote outposts. It has recently come to our attention that some scrolls have been left behind, magically sealed to protect them. Alistair, I want you to retrieve these scrolls if you can.”

“What kind of scrolls are these?” Shaari asked curiously.

“Old treaties, if you’re curious. Promises of support made to the Grey Wardens long ago. They were once considered only formalities. With so many having forgotten their commitments to us, I suspect it may be a good idea to have something to remind them with.” Duncan answered.

“And what if they’re no longer there?” Jory questioned.

“It’s possible the scrolls may have been destroyed or even stolen, though the seal’s magic should have protected them. Only a Grey Warden can break such a seal.” Duncan replied.

“I don’t understand. Why leave such things in a ruin if they’re so valuable?” Alistair said, meeting Duncan’s eyes.

“It was assumed we would someday return. A great many things were assumed that have not held true.”

“Is this part of our training too?” Daveth asked.

“No, but the effort must be made. I have every confidence you are up to the task.” Duncan smiled, meeting Shaari’s eyes.

“How will we find this archive?” she asked.

“It will be an overgrown ruin by now, but the sealed chest should remain intact. Alistair will guide you to the area you need to search.”

“Find the archive and three vials of blood. Understood.” she smiled.

“Watch over your charges, Alistair. Return quickly, and safely.” Duncan ordered, meeting Alistair’s eyes.

“We will, Duncan.” Alistair saluted.

“Then may the Maker watch over your path. I will see you when you return.”

Offering Duncan a warm smile, she was soon following Alistair and the others to the ruin gates. Stepping out of the ruin, she immediately felt the cold on her skin and wished she’d looked into getting a cloak of sorts. She wore sturdy leather armor, which helped to protect her from the chill, if only a little. Calling up a ball of fire, she coated the weapons of the others in the hopes the heat might radiate back to her. Swallowing nervously, she looked around at the open Wilds and felt as though she was going to be sick.

“Are you alright?” Alistair asked sincerely.

“It’s... I’m...” she stammered softly.

“Some all powerful mage you are. We’d have been better of with a _child_ instead of _her_.” Jory groused, placing his hands impatiently on his hips.

“Back off, Jory.” Alistair began. “She’s spent her whole life in a Tower, this is a huge change for her.” he growled.

Putting her head between her knees, Shaari tried to catch her breath. The trip from the Circle had been easier after that first night out with Duncan, as he’d managed to keep them in a forest until they reached the edge of the Korcari Wilds. The tent they slept in was small at best, making it seem as though she were still surrounded by the sturdy walls of the Tower. Now however, there was nothing around but open wilderness. Feeling a hand on her shoulder, she looked up to see Alistair standing over her, his handsome features etched with concern.

“Are you alright?” he asked again, more gently this time.

“It’s just a little... _much_...” she answered softly. “I’m not... it’s just so... _open_.”

“I don’t suppose you got out much, being locked in a Tower as mages are...”

“No...”

“Oh, for... Can we just get this _over_ with?” Jory grumbled. “ _This_ is why women... _especially_ elven women... shouldn’t be allowed in the Wardens.”

Glaring up at the man, Shaari had to fight the urge to send a bolt of lightning up his posterior. Watching him scowl in her direction, she straightened herself up slowly. Drawing in a breath to say something to the contrary, she jumped back in surprise as Alistair balled his fist and hit the man. Blinking in astonishment, she couldn’t hide the smirk that graced her eyes as he proceeded to close in on the man.

“You will _not_ dismiss her simply because she’s an elf, and _especially_ not because she’s a _woman_!” Alistair snapped, grabbing the man and dragging him back to his feet. “She’s _already_ faced something far more frightening than _you_ , Jory. _All_ Grey Wardens are treated as equals, and she’s no exception!”

“Right... My apologies...” Jory said, looking from Alistair to her.

“Now that _that’s_ settled...” Alistair continued, turning to face her. “We really _do_ need to get this done before nightfall. Are you ready?”

Nodding her head, Shaari grabbed her staff and started out slowly behind the others. She tried to swallow her fear, and was grateful to Alistair as he continued glancing back to see that she was alright. Freezing as she heard the howling of wolves, she was briefly reminded of something her mother used to say when she was little.

_Be safe, da’len, my young lethallan... May the Dread Wolf never catch your scent...”_

Seeing the beasts appear from the bushes to surround them, she drew in a deep breath before surrounding her companions in a shimmering magical barrier. Turning her attention to the first beast that lunged for her, she grunted as she hit the ground, pinned under its weight. Blasting it with a powerful jolt of lightning, she heard it yelp before leaping away. Regaining her feet as quickly as she was able, she watched as one moved to attack Alistair from behind. Calling up a wall of ice between them, she cringed when she heard the wolf impact with the obstacle, cracking bones as it did.

Catching movement to her left, she turned quickly to find another wolf baring down on Jory. While she didn’t like the way he’d treated her, she knew she had to help the man. To do any less would only serve to confirm his belief that elves, women and mages shouldn’t be allowed in _any_ combat situation. Coating the wolf in a thick blanket of fire, she heard the man momentarily panic until he realized that he himself wasn’t being burned. The cries of the beast were soon silenced, granting her relief knowing she had caused such agony.

The battle seemed to stretch on, though it had barely lasted a few minutes. She felt more comfortable using her magic in such situations, and knew the battle against the darkspawn would be easier. Looking up at Jory as he approached, she tried to make herself as tall as possible. He already thought less of her because she was an elf, but she wasn’t about to let him intimidate her with his size. Now that she’d survived an actual fight, she knew that she would be able to protect herself from him, if necessary.

“I... I wanted to apologize. And to _thank_ you. After the way I treated you... I didn’t expect you to come to my aid. You are a better person than... than _I_ have been.” he said, meeting her eyes.

“You’re welcome...” she replied, breathing a little easier now that she knew he respected her on some level.

“Let’s move. The darkspawn won’t wait for us to hang a welcome banner before they attack. We need to be prepared.” Alistair stated, returning his sword to its sheath.

Nodding her head, she followed him through the Wilds on their hunt for the beasts she would soon be dedicating her life to fighting. Unless she somehow failed to complete the Joining ritual, that was. Forcing that thought from her mind, she knew she couldn’t allow any doubt to take root, lest her courage fail when she needed it most. 

It didn’t take long, as Duncan had said, before they’d happened upon a small roving band. Calling upon her magic to protect her companions, she was soon firing every attack spell she had at them, helping the others to cut the beasts down with relative ease. Her ability had Jory convinced that he’d been wrong about her, on more than one level. His respect continued to grow as they encountered more darkspawn, cementing his belief that she truly _did_ belong with the Wardens. Filling the last of the vials Duncan had given them, she looked to Alistair as he turned to address them.

“We need to find that cache and return to Duncan as quickly as possible. The sooner we proceed with the Joining, the sooner we can receive our assignments for the coming battle.” he stated.

Nodding her head, Shaari looked about at the crumbling columns for ay sign that they could be near an old tower. Spotting a likely candidate in the distance, she brought it to Alistair’s attention. Hearing him state that she was right, she moved quickly ahead of the group on towards their destination. Navigating the halls was a little more difficult, as large chunks of masonry and darkspawn made the halls difficult to traverse. Spotting an old chest near a far wall some ways in, she approached it slowly. Sighing as she saw it in shambles, she turned to look at Alistair.

“Well well... What have we here?” a dark haired woman asked, walking down a nearby ramp. “Are you a vulture, I wonder? A scavenger poking amidst a corpse whose bones were long since cleaned? Or merely an intruder, come into these darkspawn-filled Wilds of mine in search of easy prey?” she finished, moving closer to her.

The woman’s golden eyes seemed to stare right through her, though Shaari didn’t flinch. She noted the way the woman’s raven hair framed her face, much like that of a dangerous predator stalking its prey. Studying her as she walked passed, she thought the woman fit right in with the wildness of the land around her.

“What say you, hmmm? Scavenger, or intruder?” she continued.

“I am neither. The Grey Wardens once owned this tower.” Shaari replied. 

“Tis a tower no longer. The Wilds have obviously claimed this dessicated corpse... I have watched your progress for some time. ‘Where do they go?’ I wondered. ‘Why are they here?’ And now they disturb ashes none have touched for so long. Why is that?”

“Don’t answer her. She looks Chasind, and that means there may be others near by.” Alistair said softly.

“You fear barbarians will swoop down upon you?” the woman mocked.

“Yes... Swooping is bad...” Alistair retorted.

“She’s a Witch of the Wilds, she is! She’ll turn us all into toads! Daveth panicked.

“Witch of the Wilds?” the woman repeated. “Such idle fancies, those legends. Have you no minds of your own? You there. Elven women do not frighten like little boys. Tell me your name, and I shall tell you mine.”

“My name is Shaari. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” she replied.

“Now that is a proper civil greeting, even here in the Wilds. You may call me Morrigan.” the woman smiled. “Shall I guess your purpose? You sought something in that chest, something that it here no longer?”

“ _‘Here no longer’_?” Alistair asked. “You stole them, didn’t you? You’re...some kind of... sneaky... witch-thief!”

“How very eloquent. How does one steal from dead men?” Morrigan mocked.

“Quite easily, it seems.” Alistair snapped. “Those documents are Grey Warden property, and I suggest you return them.”

“I will not, for ‘twas not I who removed them. Invoke a name that means nothing here any longer if you wish; I am not threatened.”

“Who removed them?” Shaari asked, ignoring the way Alistair was provoking the woman.

“Twas my mother, in fact.” Morrigan replied.

“Your mother?” Alistair asked.

“Yes, my mother. Did you assume I sprouted from a log?” Morrigan quipped.

“A thieving, weird talking log, perhaps.” Alistair retorted.

“Not all in the Wilds are monsters... Flowers grow as well as toads.” Morrigan said softly. “If you wish, I will take you to my mother. ‘Tis not far from here, and you may ask her for your papers, if you like.”

“We _should_ get those treaties, but I dislike this... Morrigan’s sudden appearance... It’s too convenient.” Alistair stated, looking from the woman to Shaari.

“Will you please take us to her?”

“A sensible request... I like you.” Morrigan grinned.

“First it’s ‘I like you’ but then ZAP! Frog time.” Alistair remarked.

“She’ll put us all into the pot, she will. Just you watch.” Daveth added, glancing nervously between the three.

“If the pot’s warmer than this forest, it’d be a nice change.” Jory added.

“Follow me, if it pleases you.” Morrigan stated, turning to walk out of the ruin.

Looking briefly at the others, Shaari started off after Morrigan. She definitely knew the terrain better than the rest of them, leading them directly to a run down shack. Watching as an old woman stepped out, she got the sense that perhaps she’d known her, or at least, _should_ have. Closing her eyes as her mind suddenly clouded over, Shaari soon found herself lost to a time long ago.

“ _Mythal, you have to go, NOW” a younger man said, urging the woman toward a shimmering mirror._

_Looking about, she saw devastation and carnage. The bodies of her children lay scattered at her feet, each slain by one she’d trusted. The urgency on the man’s face told her there was little time left before she too would join them, but she just couldn’t leave them behind._

_“Fen... He cut them down without mercy.” she said, her heart breaking with each tear that slipped from her eyes._

_“I know, my friend. If you were to fall with them, there would be no hope for our People. They would have nowhere to turn in their time of need.”_

_“What of you, Harellan? You must escape as well, or the truth will die with the rest of our People. Falon'din will not show you mercy when he finds you.”_

_“I will hold him at bay until you are safe, then I will close the doors to your sanctuary. Your Sentinels will keep your eluvian and the Vir’Abellasan safe. Please, vhenan. Please go.”_

_“Stay safe, Fen’Harel. Our People will need you in the ages to come. You MUST tell them the truth of what happened here. They HAVE to know the cause of our sleep. Falon’din must NOT be allowed to reign...”_

_“I give you my word, vhenan...”_

Feeling her head spin briefly, Shaari realized that she’d been staring into the soul of the woman before her. Shaking her head, she knew with all she was that a _human_ couldn’t possibly grasp all her People had suffered, or be so fluent in the language the Dalish had lost to time. Plastering a smile on her face as the woman came to stand before them, she glanced over at Morrigan as she introduced them.

“Greetings, mother. I bring before you four Grey Wardens who...” Morrigan began.

“I see them, girl. Hmm. Much as I expected.” the woman replied.

“Are we supposed to believe you were expecting us?” Alistair smirked.

“You are required to do nothing, least of all believe. Shut one’s eyes tight, or open one’s arms wide... Either way, one’s a fool.” Morrigan’s mother answered.

“She’s a witch, I tell you! We shouldn’t be talking to her!” Daveth muttered to Jory.

“Quiet, Daveth! If she’s really a witch, do you want to make her mad?” Jory replied.

“There is a smart lad. Sadly irrelevant to the larger scheme of things, but it is not I who decides. Believe what you will.” the old woman grinned. “And what of you? Does your elven mind give you a different viewpoint? Or do you believe as these boys do?” she finished, coming to stand directly before Shaari.

“I’m not sure what to believe.” Shaari answered softly.

“A statement that possesses more wisdom than it implies... So much about you is uncertain and yet... I believe.Do I? Why, it seems I do.” the woman smiled.

“So... _this_ is a dreaded ‘Witch of the Wilds’?” Alistair smirked.

“Witch of the Wilds, eh? Morrigan must have told you that. She fancies such tales, though she would never admit it! Oh, how she dances under the moon!” the woman laughed.

“They did not come to listen to your wild tales, mother.” Morrigan offered, blushing slightly.

“True, they came for their treaties, yes? And before you begin barking, your precious seal wore off long ago. I have protected these.” the woman stated, pulling the scrolls from the pouch at her side.

“You... oh. You protected them?” Alistair asked, the surprise evident in his tone.

“And why not? Take them to your Grey Wardens and tell them this Blight’s threat is greater than they realize!” the woman replied.

“Thank you for returning them.” Shaari smiled, taking the scrolls.

“Such manners! Always in the last place you’d expect. Like stockings.” she laughed. “Oh do not mind me. You have what you came for, yes?”

“Time for you to go, then.” Morrigan stated.

“Do not be ridiculous, girl. These are your guests.” she smirked.

“Oh... Very well, then. I will show you out of the woods. Follow me.” Morrigan sighed, looking from her mother to the group.

Glancing to the others, she fell in step with Morrigan as they began the trek from the Wilds. She was grateful for the help, as she was certain they would have gotten lost without her. She remained silent, however, preferring to keep her thoughts to herself for the most part. It didn’t help to ease her concerns either, as the lengthening shadows told her the day was nearly done. They were planning to engage the darkspawn that night, as that was when the beasts liked to come out in force. Seeing the wooden gate of Ostagar come into view, she turned to thank Morrigan for her help. Furrowing her brow as she looked about, she wondered when it was she’d taken leave of them. She hadn’t noticed her departure, and wondered how that was.

Deciding not to worry about it, she greeted the guards as they saluted her. She was relieved to be back where there were people, as the darkness had felt like it was seeping into her soul. Making her way to Duncan’s tent, she smiled as she saw him turn to face them. His soothing voice helped to ease her fears, and she got the sense that everything was going to be ok.

“So you return from the Wilds. Have you been successful?” he asked.

“We have.” Shaari replied, passing him the vials of darkspawn blood.

“Good. I’ve had the Circle mages preparing. With the blood you’ve retrieved, we can begin the Joining immediately.” Duncan stated, taking the little vials.

“Maybe we should tell you about Morrigan and her mother first.” Alistair began. “There was a woman at the tower, and her mother had the scrolls. They were both very... odd.”

“Were they Wilder folk?” Duncan asked, arching a brow curiously.

“I don’t think so. They might be apostates...” Alistair replied.

“I know you were once a Templar, Alistair. But Chantry business is not ours. We have the scrolls. Let us focus on the Joining.” Duncan said.

“Now will you tell us what this ritual is about?” Jory asked.

“I will not lie.” Duncan replied gently. “We Grey Wardens pay a heavy price to become what we are. Fate may decree that you pay your price now, rather than later.”

“You’re saying this ritual might kill us?” Daveth asked, his voice holding a hint of fear.

“As could any darkspawn you might face in battle. You would not have been chosen, however, if I did not think you had a chance to survive.” Duncan answered.

“I have no fear of what it is we face.” Shaari said, looking from the man to Duncan.

“Nor I. Let us get this over with.” Jory added.

“Then let us begin. Alistair, take them to the old temple.” Duncan finished, meeting the younger man’s eyes.

Seeing him nod his head, Shaari looked briefly to the others before turning to follow him. They didn’t seem as eager as before, now that they knew the ritual could kill them. She herself wasn’t fond of the idea, but she was no longer welcome in the Tower since she’d helped Jowan escape. Finding her thoughts turning to Cullen, she had to draw a steadying breath to keep the tears at bay. She missed him terribly, and wished things had gone differently. She’d wanted a life away from the Tower and the Chantry with him, something he had as well. Forcing him from her mind, she watched as both Daveth and Jory took time to study the ruin to which they’d come. Meeting their eyes as they began quarreling, she shook her head at their complaints.

“The more I hear about this Joining, the less I like it.” Jory said, pacing slightly before them.

“Are you blubbering again?” Daveth asked, his tone hinting that this wasn’t the first time the knight had made his complaint heard.

“Why all these damned tests? Haven’t I earned my place?” Jory retorted.

“Maybe it’s tradition.” Daveth answered. “Maybe they’re just trying to annoy you.”

“Calm down, both of you. There’s nothing we can do about it now.” Shaari interrupted, her thoughts once again on Cullen. “I swear, I’m the bravest one here, and I’m a woman.”

“I only know that my wife is in Highever with a child on the way. If they had warned me... It just doesn’t seem fair.” Jory pouted.

“Would you have come if they’d warned you? Maybe that’s why they don’t. The Wardens do what they must, right?” Daveth stated, looking to Alistair.

“Including scrificing us?” Jory snapped.

“I’d sacrifice a lot more if I knew it would end the Blight.” Daveth answered.

“Will you both shut up? For Creator’s sake.” Shaari snapped.

“Yeah, ser knight. Try not to wet your trousers before the ritual starts.” Daveth smirked. “Maybe you’ll die. Maybe we’ll _all_ die. If nobody stops the darkspawn, we’ll die for sure. Wouldn’t you do so to save your pretty wife and child from the darkspawn?”

“I’ve just never faced a foe I could not engage with my blade.” Jory sighed.

Looking to Duncan as he appeared among them, she wondered how it was that no one had heard him approaching. Seeing the large goblet he held in his hands, she wondered what kind of deadly potion it held. Swallowing her fear, she knew in her heart there was no turning back.

“At last we come to the Joining.” he began. “The Grey Wardens were founded during the first Blight, when humanity stood on the verge of total annihilation. So it was the first Grey Wardens drank of darkspawn blood, and mastered their taint.” he finished, setting the goblet on an old table.

“We’re... going to drink the blood of those... those _creatures_?” Jory asked, paling considerably.

“As the first Grey Wardens did before us, as we did before you _This_ is the source of our power, and our victory.” Duncan answered solemnly.

“Those who survive the Joining become immune to the taint. We can sense it in the darkspawn, and use it to slay the Archdemon.” Alistair added, meeting her eyes.

“Those who survive?” Jory asked.

“Not all who drink the blood will survive, and those who do are forever changed. This is why the Joining is secret. It is the price we pay.” Duncan responded, turning to Alistair. “We speak only a few words prior to the Joining, but these words have been said since the first. Alistair, if you would?”

“Join us, brothers and sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand, vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that cannot be forsworn. And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten, and that one day, _we_ shall join _you_.” he said reverently.

“Daveth... Step forward.” Duncan said, carefully lifting the chalice.

Watching as the man took the goblet from Duncan, she held her breath. She wasn’t prepared for what might happen, and covered her mouth to quiet the gasp that soon escaped her throat. Daveth’s eyes paled until they were white, and his body contorted from the sudden pain that stole over it. It was soon replaced with violent spasms, cutting off his cries of agony before they had a chance to pass his lips. Stepping back as he dropped to his knees, she knew that she too might find her death in that silver cup. Staring blankly as he finally lay motionless on the marble floor, she closed her eyes and whispered a silent prayer to the Creators to see him to his god.

“Maker’s breath!” Jory exclaimed, backing away from Duncan and the horror he’d just witnessed.

“I am sorry, Daveth.” Duncan whispered, holding the cup closer as the man breathed his last. “Step forward, Jory.”

“But... I have a wife... a _child_! Had I _known_...” he stammered, backing farther away from Duncan and drawing his heavy sword from its place on his back.

“There is no turning back...” Duncan said, moving closer to the man.

Seeing him set the chalice on the table, she hoped Jory wouldn’t be foolish enough to try and test the man’s skill in battle. They’d encountered bandits and beasts along their way, and Duncan had shown himself to be extremely capable of defending them both when the need arose. Stepping away from them both, she saw Duncan’s hand move slowly to the blade at his side.

“No! You ask too much! There is no glory in this!” the man cowered.

Closing her eyes briefly, she heard the man’s groan as he lunged forward at Duncan. Casting a barrier over her friend, she protected him from a blow that she knew he wouldn’t let connect. She wasn’t willing to take that chance, however, and opened her eyes to see the fight unfolding before her. Duncan’s blade easily parried Jory’s, blocking it from its destination. After two more failed attempts to strike the man, she watched as Duncan closed the gap between them, easily sliding his blade into the man’s belly.

“I am sorry, Jory...” Duncan said, holding the man as his life left him.

The expression on his face told her Duncan felt real remorse over the two lives he’d just lost. Her heart ached for him, as she could tell this was the part of being a Warden he didn’t like. It had to be done however, as the Grey Wardens paid whatever price was necessary to defeat the darkspawn. Watching as he withdrew his blade, she noticed how carefully he lay the man down. Meeting his eyes as he took up the goblet and started towards her, she thought she caught a hint of tears that he tried to hide.

“But the Joining is not yet complete.” he said, offering her the chalice. “You have been called to submit yourself to the taint for the greater good.”

Drawing in a steadying breath, she took a deep drink of the blood within the cup, trying not to taste it as it passed her lips. Feeling as though she might be sick, she handed the chalice back to Duncan to keep from dropping it to the ground. Her body was racked with pain, but it somehow didn’t seem as severe as what she’d guessed Daveth had felt. Looking up at Duncan as he backed away, she thought perhaps she too would fall in this ritual.

“From this moment forth, you are a Grey Warden.” he said, relief etching his handsome features.

Closing her eyes as she was wracked with another round of intense pain, she felt her head spin before impacting with something hard. As the darkness began closing in around her, she wondered if this was what it was like to die...


	6. Chapter 6

_Blackness surrounded her... At first, she was aware of nothing but the pain. It was almost unbearable, though her mind was soon distracted by the image of a massive dragon appearing before her eyes. She wanted to move away from it, fearing it would devour her in a single gulp. It seemed unable to reach her, however, for which she was grateful. It was unlike anything her Keeper had warned her about though... The teeth were elongated, and the eyes black and soulless. It’s body seemed to be riddled with disease, with bits of flesh missing here and there._

_Feeling the heated breath on her skin, Shaari wondered if this was what all Grey Wardens experienced during their Joining. It almost seemed to speak to her though, as though it was trying to discover if she was enemy or slave. The deep growl told her the dragon had made up its mind, and it wasn’t a favorable one for her. Trying to move away from the beast, she felt her body trembling violently. She wondered if she was experiencing what Daveth had before he died... But then, had he also seen a small, glowing light clearing his mind of the dense fog? Blinking, she felt the heaviness of her body as her soul settled back into place._

“It is finished... Welcome.” Duncan said gently, looking down at her.

Realizing she was staring up at them from the ground, she slowly pushed herself to a sitting position. Rubbing her head, she accepted the hand Duncan offered and stood shakily before them.

“Two more deaths... In my Joining, only one of us died, but it was... horrible. I’m glad at least one of you made it through.” Alistair said softly.

“How do you feel?” Duncan asked gently.

“That was more painful than the Harrowing...” she replied.

“Such is what it takes to be a Grey Warden.” he smiled softly.

“Did you have any dreams? I had _terrible_ dreams after my Joining.” Alistair added.

“Such dreams come when you begin to sense the darkspawn, as we all do. That, and many other things can be explained in the months to come.” Duncan offered.

“Before I forget, there is one last part to your Joining. We take some of that blood and put it in a pendant. Something to remind us... of those who didn’t make it this far.” Alistair added, passing her the item.

“Take some time. When you are ready, I’d like you to accompany me to a meeting with the King.”

“What kind of meeting, Duncan?” she asked, rubbing the back of her neck as she’d seen Cullen do from time to time.

“The King is discussing strategy for the upcoming battle. I am not sure why he has requested your presence.” Duncan smiled slightly. “The meeting is to the west, down the stairs. Please attend as soon as you are able, but do not take too long.”

Nodding her head, she caught the smirk Alistair was giving her and furrowed her brow. 

“What?” she asked, folding her arms across her chest.

“Oh, nothing. You’d best hurry, else the King might miss his chance to stare at a beautiful woman before he goes out into the cold. It’ll help keep his armor warm while he battles the darkspawn.” Alistair teased.

“You think me so easy as to bow before the King in the manner you’re suggesting?” she asked gruffly.

“No! No, I didn’t mean... Nevermind.” Alistair said, sighing as he turned to walk away.

Shaking her head, she thought the man infuriating at best. If that’s what he thought of _her_ , what was he like around _other_ women. Likely the same, if not worse. At least _Cullen_ respected her. He was kind to mages, unlike some of his Templar brethren. He’d even come to the rescue of some of the mages who had fallen into poor view with some of them. And when Jowan had attacked before escaping, he’d shielded her from the man’s assault, ensuring that she was in no way affected by his corruption. It was just another reason she loved the man.

Stopping briefly to speak with some of the other Grey Wardens as they came to welcome her, she was soon on her way to the meeting with the King, as Duncan had requested. Hearing him arguing with Loghain, she couldn’t help but ponder the reason. Making her way around the table to stand next to Duncan, she noticed the uneasy manner in which he regarded the pair.

“Loghain, my decision is final.” Cailan stated, meeting the man’s eyes levelly. “I will stand by the Grey Wardens in this assault.”

“You risk too much, Cailan! The darkspawn horde is too dangerous for you to be playing hero on the front lines.” Loghain retorted.

“If that’s the case, perhaps we should wait for the Orlesian forces to join us after all.”

“I must repeat my protest to your fool notion that we need the Orlesians to defend ourselves!” Loghain spat.

“It is not a _fool notionKing_.” Cailan reprimanded, folding his arms across his chest as he watched Loghain move several paces away.

“How fortunate Maric did not live to see his son ready to hand Ferelden over to those who _enslaved_ us for a century!” Loghain growled angrily.

“Then our _current_ forces will have to suffice, won’t they. Duncan. Are your men ready for battle?” Cailan stated, turning to face him.

“They are, your Majesty.” Duncan replied confidently.

“And you’re Shaari, right? I hear congratulations are in order.” Cailan beamed, meeting her eyes eagerly.

“Thank you, your Majesty.” Shari replied, her cheeks summoning a blush at his praise and clearly interested gaze.

“Every Grey Warden is needed now. You should be honored to join their ranks.” he continued, stepping closer.

There was something about the man; a presence that seemed like that of a predator stalking its prey. It wasn’t an _uncomfortable_ sensation, but rather one that made her feel as though he was undressing her with his eyes. Her heart began racing, as though his obvious desire for her was somehow infecting every part of her being. Swallowing the ball of nerves that had formed in her throat at his nearness, she found herself wondering if he would lean down and capture her lips for a heated caress. Blinking as Loghain’s gruff voice broke the tension, she let out an inaudible sigh of relief as the King turned slightly to glance back at him.

“Your fascination with glory and legends will be your undoing, Cailan. We must attend to _reality_.” the man growled, all but pulling Cailan away from her.

“Fine. Speak your strategy.” Cailan retorted, taking a small step away from her. “The Grey Wardens and I draw the darkspawn into charging our lines... and then?”

“You will alert the tower to light the beacon, signaling my men to charge from cover...” Loghain began.

“To flank the darkspawn, I remember. This is the Tower of Ishal in the ruins, yes? Who shall light this beacon?” Cailan interrupted.

“I have a few men stationed there. It’s not a dangerous task, but it _is_ vital.”

“Then we should send our best. Send Alistair and Shaari to make sure it’s done.” Cailan grinned, looking up from the map before him to capture her eyes.

“If it’s not dangerous, I can light the beacon myself.” Shaari smiled shyly.

“No. It’s best that you both go.” Cailan replied.

Shaari couldn’t be sure, but she thought she saw something in his eyes that told her the King needed her to do this task, and that it was essential Alistair go with her. It was almost as though he truly didn’t _trust_ Loghain, and she wondered why. Trying to offer him a smile of understanding, she saw the relief flash briefly in his eyes.

“You rely on these Grey Wardens too much. Is that truly wise?” Loghain asked, furrowing his brow.

“Enough of your conspiracy theories, Loghain. Grey Wardens battle the Blight no matter where they’re from.” Cailan retorted, indicating the topic was closed for discussion.

“Your Majesty, you should consider the possibility of the Archdemon appearing.” Duncan said.

“There have been no signs of any Dragons in the Wilds.” Loghain responded, looking from Duncan to Cailan.

“Isn’t that what your men are here for, Duncan?” the King smiled, capturing her eyes once again.

“I... Yes, your Majesty.” Duncan answered.

“Your Majesty, the Tower and its beacon are unnecessary...” another man said, approaching from Cailan’s left. “The Circle of Magi...”

Looking at the mage before her, she furrowed her brow slightly. She’d heard that Uldred had been sent to Ostagar, but didn’t think she’d actually have an opportunity to meet the man. He’d always kept to the upper levels of the Tower, rarely joining the rest of the mages for meals or other important gatherings. She’d gotten the feeling from Irving that he didn’t trust the man, and now, being in his presence, she understood why. There was something about him, something she couldn’t put her finger on, that made her uneasy.

“We will _not_ trust any lives to _your_ spells, mage! Save them for the darkspawn!” the revered mother said, moving quickly to Uldred’s side.

“Enough!” Loghain growled, looking briefly from the woman to Uldred. “This plan will suffice. The Grey Wardens will light the beacon.”

“Thank you, Loghain. I cannot wait for that glorious moment! The Grey Wardens battle beside the King of Ferelden to stem the tide of evil!” Cailan grinned eagerly.

“Yes, Cailan. A glorious moment for us all...” Loghain finished, walking away from them.

Breathing a little easier as the meeting dispersed, she nodded to Duncan when he told her to meet him at the Grey Warden fire within the hour. Glancing down at the map, she hoped to get an idea of the quickest route to the Tower from where they currently were. Jumping in surprise as she heard Cailan’s voice from right beside her, she turned her head to find him little more than a breath away.

“It’s beautiful, in its own way. The Tevinter Imperium made many great structures, some of which still stand, dotting the landscape and reminding us of a time before the Chantry put a leash on you mages.” he smiled.

“It’s certainly impressive.” she replied softly.

“Has anyone ever told you that you have the most captivating eyes?”

“I... no, your Majesty.” she blushed, lowering her gaze from his.

Feeling his gloved finger under her chin, Shaari swallowed hard as he tilted her head back up to meet his gaze.

“Cailan, remember?” he smiled. “I’d like to have a word with you, after the battle of course. Privately.”

“Privately?” she whispered, feeling more than a little nervous.

“Privately.”

“Um, may I ask why?”

“I wish to know your better. Is that such a bad thing?”

“What about your wife... the Queen?”

“She cannot give me an heir, and has become embittered because of it. It’s time I put her aside and look for... someone _else_ ” Cailan replied, gently stroking her cheek with his finger.

“I’m an elf, your Majesty. And a mage... I would never be accepted in your court for anything other than a servant...”

“My people would accept you because I will _tell_ them to. I am Cailan Theirin, born to King Maric, who was the only son of the Rebel Queen. I am well loved by the nobles at court, which gives me the advantage. If I wish to make an elven mage my Queen, they would accept you without question.”

“What of Loghain? Isn’t the Queen his daughter?” Shaari asked, taking a slow step back from the man as he was trying to close the gap between them.

“It’s time Loghain retired. You heard the man, ranting about the Wardens and believing the Orlesians are just waiting for an opportunity to steal our country from under us. He needs to be left to govern the land my father gave him in peace. He _and_ Anora.”

Her heart beat loudly in her ears, and the blood burned hot in her veins. Before she could think of a reply, his lips came over hers. They were demanding, and full of passion. It made her head spin and her balance shaky at best. She could have easily lost herself in that moment, had the memory of Cullen’s own kiss not flooded her mind. Pulling back, she met Cailan’s eyes gently.

“Forgive me, but my heart belongs to another.” she said softly.

“And I would not come between that. You could be with him once you gave me an heir, if that was what you desired. Unless, of course, I found a way to make you love me...” Cailan replied, snaking a hand around her waist.

“Your Majesty, I have a message from Loghain asking for... _Maker’s breath_!” the courier said, quickly averting his gaze.

“What does he want _now_?” Cailan asked, sighing as he moved away from her.

“He... uh... he wanted to discuss your wife...” the man stammered.

“Tell him my decision is final, and there will _not_ be a discussion on the matter. He is to take her back to Gwaren once the darkspawn have been dealt with.”

“Right away, your Majesty.”

Watching the man race off, Shaari met Cailan’s eyes as he turned to face her. The brilliant smile he flashed told her that he would continue this discussion with her later as well, likely before he went to meet with Loghain. Letting him take her hand in his, she blushed prettily as he placed a kiss upon the palm. Swallowing as he turned to walk away, she blinked several times to clear the fog from her mind. Had he just asked her to bear him an heir as his Queen? Surely she had to be mistaken, as the people would never have accepted an elven mage as their Queen. Most likely, they would accuse her of using blood magic to control his mind, and set the Templars after her the moment he made his declaration to the court.

“Duncan’s waiting for us by the fire... we really should get going.” Alistair said, spotting her still near the table.

“Yes... yes, of course.” Shaari replied, shaking herself mentally for letting her thoughts wander.

Making her way to the bonfire with Alistair, she thought she heard shouting coming from the King’s side of the camp. He and Loghain were arguing again, and this time, neither was bothering to do so quietly. When all fell silent, she thought perhaps something drastic had happened. Seeing Cailan emerging from Loghain’s tent, she caught the smile he flashed her way and returned it with an innocent blush.

“You and Alistair will go to the Tower of Ishal and ensure the beacon is lit.” Duncan said, cutting into her thoughts.

“What? I won’t be in the battle?” Alistair asked, his frustration evident in his tone.

“This is by the King’s personal request, Alistair. If the beacon is not lit, Teyrn Loghain’s men won’t know when to charge.” Duncan replied.

“So he needs two Grey Wardens standing up there holding the torch just in case, right?” Alistair quipped.

“I have to say I agree with him, Duncan. He’d be of better use in the battle, as opposed to up there in the Tower with me.” Shaari replied.

“That is not your choice. If King Cailan wishes Grey Wardens to ensure the beacon is lit, then Grey Wardens will be there. We must do whatever it takes to defeat the darkspawn... exciting or no.” Duncan stated firmly.

“I get it, I get it. Just so you know, if the King ever asks me to put on a dress and dance the Remigold, I’m drawing the line. Darkspawn or no.” Alistair answered sarcastically.

“I think I’d like to see that.” Shaari smirked.

“For you, maybe. But it has to be a pretty dress.” Alistair chuckled.

Hearing Duncan sigh, she wondered how it was the man had put up with Alistair’s jokes for the last six months. Hearing him begin, she nodded her head in understanding of all they had to do.

“The Tower is on the other side of the gorge from the King’s camp, the way we came when we arrived. You’ll need to cross the gorge, head through the gate and up to the Tower entrance. From the top, you’ll overlook the entire valley.”

Listening as Duncan gave them the rest of their instructions, Shaari knew the fight ahead would be difficult at best. There were so many things that could go wrong, and she was once again reminded of the hardness she’d seen in Loghain’s eyes as he acquiesced to Cailan’s demands. She feared there could be trouble for the King, but wasn’t going to have an opportunity to speak with him about it. He’d already left for the front lines with his army and the rest of the Grey Wardens, which meant that she would have to speak with him after the battle. It wouldn’t likely be difficult, if his intentions were truly to seek her as his new Queen, as he’d certainly be looking for her as well. Slipping her hand through the leather strap on her staff, she cast a slight glance at Alistair before making her way to the bridge...


	7. Chapter 7

Flaming chunks of mortar flew at the bridge as they approached, some impacting mere feet away. Shaari feared the stone would crumble beneath her feet before they made it safely across, and so closed her eyes before setting out. The violent shuddering of the stone told her when each volley had connected, and she couldn’t help but yelp in surprise as the bodies of those hit with the burning missiles came flying towards her. On more than one occasion, Alistair blocked debris from striking them with his shield, though it soon showed the extent of the damage with all the dents and dings it had taken.

Letting out a small sigh of relief when her feet made contact with the earth, she turned her attention to the darkspawn that suddenly appeared before them. Calling up a barrier, she wrapped both she and Alistair in its protective shield. The hurlock that rushed her knocked her easily off her feet, its snarling visage pressing down on her as it held her firmly to the ground. Using her staff to keep the blade from tearing at her flesh, she grit her teeth from the exertion. Summoning a bolt of raw magic, she blasted the hurlock away, allowing her to regain her feet. Continuing her attack, she coated it in a thick layer of ice before slamming it with a powerful stone fist spell.

Seeing the hurlock shatter, she quickly turned her attention to the other darkspawn that were now closing in on them. Alistair was holding his own quite well with the three that were engaging him, though she could tell his stamina wouldn’t hold out much longer at the rate he was going. Wrapping the darkspawn in a blanket of ice, she ducked away from the shards that exploded around her from the Templar’s powerful blows. Looking briefly around, she sighed in relief as she saw that they had a slight reprieve. Hearing the armored footsteps of one of the King’s soldiers as he ran toward them, she offered his mage companion a small smile. She’d seen the man at the Tower, though she’d never actually been introduced. 

“You! You’re Grey Wardens, right?” the soldier asked, coming to stand before Alistair.

“What’s wrong?” Alistair responded.

“The tower’s been taken! Darkspawn popped out of the air and from underground. They swarm the place even now, killing everyone in their path!” the man panicked.

“We’ll handle this, just get yourselves to safety.” Alistair stated, looked passed them to the tower entrance.

“Thank you, Ser, but we’re the King’s men, and we’ll fight for him with our lives if we must.” the soldier saluted.

Smiling gently at the men, she had to admire their dedication to the King. Not that he was a man that didn’t deserve it, as he most definitely was. Feeling the color come to her cheeks as she remembered his kiss, she had to clear her throat to bring her attention back to where it was supposed to be, and on what she was supposed to be doing at that specific time. Glancing briefly up at Alistair, she rushed toward the door to the tower and threw it open wide.

They were immediately swarmed by darkspawn, making it difficult for her and the other mage to protect Alistair and the other soldier with their spells. Deciding to increase the damage the men were inflicting, she coated their weapons in a layer of flame that burned constantly, no matter what they connected with. Looking to the other mage, she offered him a small smile as he cast a barrier around them, protecting them as best he could. Summoning up an ice storm, Shaari soon had several of the monsters frozen in place, giving the warriors the opportunity to shatter them with the force of their blows.

Letting out a sigh of relief as the last beast fell, she nodded her thanks as the men came to check on her and the other mage. Picking her way slowly through the tower, she knew they needed to reach the top floor to light the signal. Loghain would be watching and waiting to bring his forces in to flank the beasts below, which meant they needed to hurry. Clearing out the first level, she found the stairs that lead up to the next, and slowly pulled the door open.

“Maker’s breath! What are these darkspawn doing ahead of the rest of the horde? There wasn’t supposed to be any resistance here!” Alistair breathed, looking at the bodies of Loghain’s men scattered before them.

“You _could_ try telling them they’re in the wrong place.” Shaari replied, smirking slightly.

“Right, because clearly this is all just a misunderstanding. We’ll laugh about this later.” Alistair quipped back. “At any rate, we need to hurry! We need to get up to the top of the tower and light the signal fire in time! Teyrn Loghain will be waiting for the signal!” he finished.

“Then let’s not waste time here chatting, and do what we came here to do.” Shaari stated, turning to face the open room before them.

Darkspawn corpses littered the rooms in the tower in fewer numbers than the soldiers, though their foul stench still permeated the air. The beasts seemed to sense their presence as they continued on, charging after them as though they were to be the monsters’ last meal. Each wave of hurlocks seemed to be tougher than the last, making her wonder just what lie in store for them on the top floor where the beacon awaited their torch. The archers were a more difficult target for the soldiers, as they had the advantage of range to keep the warriors at bay. Between she and the other mage, she knew they had to eliminate them quickly, else their plight would come to a violent end.

Spell after spell flew at the darkspawn, taking some out quickly, while others were more resilient. Shaari was caught off guard when she saw a hurlock blasting the warriors with magic, and she quickly called up a protective barrier to shield them from its magic. Alistair was able to dispell some of them with his Templar abilities, which was a great help when it came to subduing the beast. Breathing a little easier when it finally fell, she nodded her head when asked if she was ready to proceed. Taking a quick drink of water from her flask, she made for the stairs to the top floor of the tower.

The heavy thud of large feet on the stone gave them all pause. It shook the ground beneath them and gave rise to near crippling fear. Taking a deep breath, Shaari looked to the others.

“Do you think it’s near the beacon, whatever _it_ might be?” she asked softly.

“Oh, most _definitely_. It wouldn’t be a party without some large, hideous monster to join the fun.” Alistair replied.

Growling to herself, Shaari had to fight the urge to punch the man. She couldn’t understand why he had to respond to her questions with sarcasm. Pushing passed him, she entered the closest room to find it filled with darkspawn. Calling up a blazing fire, she launched it toward the beasts, turning some to ash where they stood. So focused was she that she failed to see the genlock creeping up on her left. The bite of his poisoned blade buried deep in her thigh, and she chided herself for not having checked the corner upon entering.

Turning quickly, she covered the genlock in a layer of ice before striking it with a large stone fist. Chunks flew everywhere as it shattered, the impact of some of those pieces knocking down some of the hurlock not too far from where she stood. Gripping her leg momentarily, she knew she had to try and close the wound before she could do much else. Whatever toxin was on the weapon burned like fire in her veins. It wasn’t a natural substance, and she found herself momentarily struggling. Calling on her magic to heal the wound, she let out a sigh of relief as the pain finally abated. Swallowing the bile that had risen in her throat, she turned to see where she was most useful.

Seeing her companions battling a rather large swarm of darkspawn, she called up another barrier to try and protect them from every possible angle. Hearing dogs barking just down the hall, she wondered if the King had perhaps stored some of his hounds in the tower in case they were needed. Taking only a moment to decide, she rushed from the first room and into the one the mabari were in. Spotting a large lever toward the center of the room, she glanced briefly around before pulling it. The hounds sprang from their cages, rushing hot on her heels as she raced back to the room her companions were in.

The mabari were quick to join the fray, helping to best the darkspawn with their powerful jaws and massive frames. Each was larger than she was, and their skill in battle was unequalled. It made her wonder how the one in the King’s camp fared, given that he was sickened by the darkspawn blood he’d ingested not long before she’d arrived with Duncan. Coating the fur of the hounds in a blanket of protective fire, she was relieved to see just how effective they were against the monsters they faced.

“Work _with_ the hounds, not _against_ them!” she called, watching as Alistair forced his way between one of the mabari and the hurlock it faced.

Smirking as she watched the beast bite Alistair on his rear, she took more pleasure in hearing his yelp than she probably should have. Helping the hound take out the darkspawn it battled, she let out a sigh of relief as she watched the last one fall. Smiling gently as she saw the mabari gathering around her, she let her eyes move over their sleek coats. Some were covered in kaadis, while others actually wore armor as the warriors did. Noticing the fair amount of wounds they’d taken helping her and her companions, she wrapped them gently in a blanket of warm healing energy.

Laughing as she was knocked off her feet by the largest, she struggled to keep away from the tongue that licked happily at her face. The others soon joined their companion, making her squeal as they each took turns thanking her as only a hound could do. Getting slowly to her feet with the help of the largest mabari, she quickly straightened out her clothing and brushed herself off.

“That’s their way of thanking you, Ser. The hounds knew you could help them with your magic, and were happy to show you their gratitude.” the soldier smiled.

“That, or she really just needed a bath. Perhaps they were trying to rid her of that magey smell.” Alistair chimed in.

“At least I know what a bath _is_. When was the last time _you_ thought about cleaning yourself? Last week? Last month? And how is it I can smell your _feet_ through sock, boot and armor?” Shaari retorted.

“Ouch...” the other mage chuckled. “She’s got a fair point though, Warden.”

“It’s no wonder the darkspawn found us so easily. I’d be surprised if the Archdemon couldn’t smell you from wherever it’s hiding.” she teased.

“Ha ha, very funny. We should press on. Loghain waits for us to light the signal.” Alistair responded, sheathing his sword and brushing passed her.

“So you can dish it out, but not take it when it’s handed back to you? Good to know.” Shaari smirked, falling in step beside him.

The mabari remained close to her as they fought their way through the tower. It was as though they’d decided she needed to be protected more than the others, for which she was grateful. On more than one occasion, they’d stopped the darkspawn from getting close enough to hurt her, taking their blows and shots from their arrows as they did. She made sure to keep them healed as a show of her gratitude, enabling them to fight that much longer than they would have been able to otherwise.

Reaching the stairs to the top floor, she felt a wave of fear wash over her. Whatever was making those heavy steps above them waited just beyond the door. Taking a deep breath, she glanced briefly at the others before ascending the stairs to the top floor. Her hand trembled as she reached for the handle, hearing the grunting of the creature as it moved about. Pushing it slowly open, Shaari felt all the color drain from her face as she looked up at the monster before them.

Its skin was a deep purplish gray, spattered here and there with blood from the men and women that lay scattered at its feet. Heavy, spiked armor covered its shoulders, forearms, and shins, making the beast look more deadly than it already didn. The crunching of bone told her that it was feeding on one of them, churning her stomach. Swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat, she felt a new fear wash over her that she’d never imagined possible. It easily stood more than twenty feet tall, with four black horns that each bore their own prongs. The sharp teeth that emerged from the large mouth were covered in blood, blood that it wiped away as it turned to face them. The loud roar it emitted shook her from her paralyzing fear, once again allowing her to react to the beast before her.

“Maker’s breath...” Alistair said, looking over the massive form before them.

“Mythal enaste...” she added softly.

Casting a barrier over the warriors, she watched as they bravely rushed the giant, knowing full well it could mean their death and subsequent devouring. Coating a leg in ice, she launched the most powerful stone fist at it that she was able. She hadn’t expected the limb to shatter, but was pleased to see that the armor covering it had. Glancing briefly over at the other mage, she paled as she watched the beast scoop him quickly up and bite off his head and upper body.

“NO! Not Matthias!” the soldier screamed, clearly distraught at the man’s death.

Knowing the man was going to do something foolish, she wrapped him in a coat of stone, hoping the additional armor might protect him. Watching as the beast swatted him away as though he were a fly, she knew the rock armor had done its job protecting him as he collided heavily with the wall behind him. The blow rendered him unconscious, however, leaving only Alistair and herself to fight the monster.

Hearing him shout out in anger, she knew she had to keep him protected as best she could while still doing her best to hurt the massive darkspawn before them. Summoning the stone to cover Alistair’s chain, she then cast a barrier over him as an added measure of protection. Turning her attention to the beast itself, she called up an ice storm to try and slow it down before filling the room with lightning. The beast roared in pain as the electricity coursed over his body, giving Alistair enough of an opportunity to sever the tendons behind the knees with his flaming sword.

The tremor shook the tower as it fell, no longer able to stand under its own weight. Casting a spell to help replenish Alistair’s energy, she watched as he lept up, burying his blade between the monster’s eyes. Breathing a sigh of relief as it finally lay still, she placed her hands on her knees as she tried to regain her breath. The fight had taken more out of her than she’d anticipated, and it was becoming more difficult for her to remain upright. Feeling an armored hand on her shoulder, she started and tried to swat it away. Seeing Alistair looking down at her, she let herself relax.

“We’re safe, for now. We need to light the beacon though, so as soon as you’re ready...” he said gently.

Straightening herself up, she took a deep drink of her water and turned towards the beacon. Calling up a jet of flame, she watched as it quickly spread over the oil, filling the tower with its roaring light. Making her way to the window, she looked down at the scene below. It was impossible to tell who was who down there, but as she glanced to where Loghain’s men stood waiting for their signal. Her heart sank as he turned away, however, leaving the King, Duncan and the army to die at the hands of the darkspawn they fought bravely against.

“NO!” she shouted, knowing her words wouldn’t be heard by those below. 

“DUNCAN!” Alistair called frantically, the desire to be heard tearing his heart to pieces.

“He’s betrayed them! Loghain has left them to _die_!” Shaari exclaimed, turning to face her companion.

“We need to get _down_ there... we need to _help_!” Alistair replied desperately.

Nodding, she turned to rush off with him, only to find the room filled with darkspawn. Casting a barrier over Alistair and herself, she watched as he engaged the beasts. They were outnumbered and overwhelmed, and her endurance was at its end. Crying out as the arrow pierced her chest just above her heart, she toppled to the ground as though she were little more than a leaf fallen from a tree. Hearing Alistair shouting at her to get up, she felt the blackness closing around her, unable to resist it’s peaceful lull...


End file.
